Philosopher, A Poem Rhyme Scheme

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Zack Bumstead useter flosserfize	A
About the ocean an' the skies	A
An' gab an' gas f'um morn till noon	B
About the other side the moon	B
An' 'bout the natur of the place	A
Ten miles beyend the end of space	A
An' if his wife she'd ask the crank	C
Ef he wouldn't kinder try to yank	C
Hisself out doors an' git some wood	D
To make her kitchen fire good	D
So she c'd bake her beans an' pies	A
He'd say I've gotter flosserfize	A
	-
An' then he'd set an' flosserfize	A
About the natur an' the size	A
Of angels' wings an' think and gawp	E
An' wonder how they make 'em flop	E
He'd calkerlate how long a skid	F
'Twould take to move the sun he did	F
An' if the skid was strong an' prime	G
It couldn't be moved to supper time	G
An' w'en his wife 'd ask the lout	H
Ef he wouldn't kinder waltz about	H
An' take a rag an' shoo the flies	A
He'd say I've gotter flosserfize	A
	-
An' then he'd set an' flosserfize	A
'Bout schemes for fencing in the skies	A
Then lettin' out the lots to rent	I
So's he could make an honest cent	I
An' if he'd find it pooty tough	J
To borry cash fer fencin' stuff	J
An' if 'twere best to take his wealth	K
An' go to Europe for his health	K
Or save his cash till he'd enough	J
To buy some more of fencin' stuff	J
Then ef his wife she'd ask the gump	E
Ef he wouldn't kinder try to hump	E
Hisself to t'other side the door	L
So she c'd come an' sweep the floor	L
He'd look at her with mournful eyes	A
An' say I've gotter flosserfize	A
	-
An' so he'd set an' flosserfize	A
'Bout what it wuz held up the skies	A
An' how God made this earthly ball	M
Jest simply out er nawthin' 'tall	M
An' 'bout the natur shape an' form	N
Of nawthin' that he made it from	O
Then ef his wife sh'd ask the freak	P
Ef he wouldn't kinder try to sneak	P
Out to the barn an' find some aigs	A
He'd never move nor lift his laigs	A
He'd never stir nor try to rise	A
But say I've gotter flosserfize	A
	-
An' so he'd set an' flosserfize	A
About the earth an' sea an' skies	A
An' scratch his head an' ask the cause	A
Of w'at there wuz before time wuz	A
An' w'at the universe 'd do	Q
Bimeby w'en time hed all got through	Q
An' jest how fur we'd have to climb	G
Ef we sh'd travel out er time	G
An' ef we'd need w'en we got there	R
To keep our watches in repair	R
Then ef his wife she'd ask the gawk	S
Ef he wouldn't kinder try to walk	S
To where she had the table spread	T
An' kinder git his stomach fed	T
He'd leap for that ar kitchen door	L
An' say W'y didn't you speak afore	L
An' when he'd got his supper et	U
He'd set an' set an' set an' set	U
An' fold his arms an' shet his eyes	A
An' set an' set an' flosserfize	A

Sam Walter Foss

Philosopher, A Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis

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