We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.
Quote by Rita Rudner
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Rita Rudner Quotes
To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'
Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.
In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.
Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it's quite the opposite: a woman having large breasts makes men stupid.
Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.
My Vegas act is how I make my money.
A man will go to war, fight and die for his country. But he won't get a bikini wax.
I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.
We live in an age when to be young and to be indifferent can be no longer synonymous. We must prepare for the coming hour. The claims of the Future are represented by suffering millions and the Youth of a Nation are the trustees of Posterity.
Men and women are not born inconstant: they are made so by their early amorous experiences.
Think as I think said the man, or you are abominable. You are a toad. And after I had thought on it, I said I will then, be a toad.
1913 wasn't a very good year. 1913 gave us the income tax, the 16th amendment and the IRS.
As a religion, bilingualism is the god that failed. It has led to no fairness, produced no unity, and cost Canadian taxpayers untold millions.
The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.
If you're going to go through hell... I suggest you come back learning something.
What's that line from TS Eliot? To arrive at the place where you started, but to know it for the first time. I'm able to write about a breakup from a different place. Same brokenness. Same rock-bottom. But a little more informed, now I'm older. Thank God for growing up.
One of the most amazing things about mathematics is the people who do math aren't usually interested in application, because mathematics itself is truly a beautiful art form. It's structures and patterns, and that's what we love, and that's what we get off on.
The follow your dreams thing is really important because so many people are railroaded into taking other paths by their family, their friends, people who should be supportive going, 'What are you talking about?' Even just seemingly regular career paths, but if it's not what people expect for you they kind of react funny.