It Was Never Mine To Begin With Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis
Rhyme Scheme: AB CDEF GHID J CCKLHM H HNM AOCPQ RC CRC SKTS CP PCI HU HCCV AW E WNCX YNJ HCZH A2H HB2W C2V CL H D2E2AC2 DH HCCC EF2 JJ G2C HH2RI2C B C2JJ2 HK2R LA2J AI CWJ HL2J2 CH M2J CYJ2 K2JH HHN2O2 CP2Q2 R ICV H JLR2O2PO2S2 HWH CX O2H O2 O2HO2CO2 CT2 U2O2 C2V O2 A2PR HW A2 O2HC O2W O2O2V2 HO2| I know | A |
| I m very childish | B |
| - | |
| It took me a while to realise | C |
| that I live too much inside my own head | D |
| and because of that | E |
| I ve missed so much of the real world | F |
| - | |
| Now I truly understand | G |
| how self centred I can be | H |
| To the point where no one can really hurt me anymore | I |
| so I guess I learned to hurt myself instead | D |
| - | |
| Maybe I m wrong this time too | J |
| - | |
| Looking back at all the arguments | C |
| the misunderstandings | C |
| the nights we fought each other instead of the problem | K |
| I realise now | L |
| how easy it is to make mistakes unknowingly | H |
| when you believe everything you do is right | M |
| - | |
| And that was me | H |
| - | |
| Who could ever argue with me | H |
| After all | N |
| I was always right | M |
| - | |
| I know you know | A |
| I ve carried a lot of pain | O |
| And yes everyone suffers | C |
| but pain feels different when it is the only thing | P |
| you ve known for so long | Q |
| - | |
| Maybe that s why I convinced myself | R |
| I was heartless | C |
| - | |
| But the truth is | C |
| I have only ever experienced life as myself | R |
| I have never lived inside anyone else s wounds | C |
| - | |
| You must have wondered | S |
| Why must she always be the victim | K |
| Why can t she forgive | T |
| Why does pain always have the final word | S |
| - | |
| The truth is | C |
| I was hurting | P |
| - | |
| At first I gave you everything | P |
| I told you things | C |
| I had never said out loud before | I |
| - | |
| But you knew me | H |
| You knew my pride | U |
| - | |
| And sometimes when you tried to comfort me | H |
| I could see how badly you wanted to fix things | C |
| yet some wounds | C |
| cannot be loved away | V |
| - | |
| So no | A |
| you were never a failure | W |
| - | |
| I could never let you believe that | E |
| - | |
| I still remember | W |
| how your face would fall | N |
| every time tears escaped my eyes | C |
| after we made love | X |
| - | |
| I could never fully control them | Y |
| After all | N |
| I was human too | J |
| - | |
| And I remember how gently | H |
| you would pull me closer afterwards | C |
| holding me as though love alone | Z |
| could quiet the storm inside me | H |
| - | |
| Those moments were supposed to feel beautiful | A2 |
| And maybe part of me wanted them to be | H |
| - | |
| You never forced me | H |
| You always asked | B2 |
| You always waited for my answer | W |
| - | |
| I was the one | C2 |
| who kept pretending I was okay | V |
| - | |
| And speaking about this still hurts | C |
| but I need to let it leave my body somehow | L |
| - | |
| I want to move on honestly | H |
| - | |
| When we broke up | D2 |
| it looked like your fault | E2 |
| But now I know | A |
| I was already searching for reasons to run | C2 |
| - | |
| Maybe you were right when you said | D |
| only we could make each other happy | H |
| - | |
| I know I rarely spoke plainly | H |
| I hid myself behind metaphors | C |
| imaginary situations | C |
| unfinished sentences | C |
| - | |
| And I kept doing that | E |
| until the very end | F2 |
| - | |
| After I left you | J |
| I tried to escape you too | J |
| - | |
| You know how I am | G2 |
| I always find ways to outrun my own thoughts | C |
| - | |
| So I kept myself busy | H |
| I laughed | H2 |
| I distracted myself | R |
| I pretended I was moving on | I2 |
| faster than my heart really was | C |
| - | |
| And maybe that was selfish | B |
| - | |
| I found someone | C2 |
| who reminded me of you | J |
| or maybe I only wanted to believe he did | J2 |
| - | |
| I thought he understood me | H |
| forgetting that even I | K2 |
| did not understand myself | R |
| - | |
| Looking back now | L |
| it feels cruel | A2 |
| especially because he once knew you too | J |
| - | |
| I don t even know | A |
| what I was searching for | I |
| - | |
| And the worst part is | C |
| I realised later | W |
| that even he carried resentment toward you | J |
| - | |
| Luckily | H |
| I never went too deep | L2 |
| Although I almost did | J2 |
| - | |
| And when you saw me with those other guys | C |
| the guilt nearly consumed me | H |
| - | |
| I don t know why I still feel the need | M2 |
| to explain myself to you | J |
| - | |
| They were asking me out yes | C |
| but none of them | Y |
| ever made me feel as safe as you did | J2 |
| - | |
| And maybe that s why | K2 |
| I m always searching for chances to run into you | J |
| even though seeing you terrifies me | H |
| - | |
| Because whenever you walk past me | H |
| a current rushes through my entire body | H |
| so sudden and violent | N2 |
| that I feel like I might collapse beneath it | O2 |
| - | |
| Maybe they call it butterflies | C |
| Maybe it s fear | P2 |
| Maybe it s both | Q2 |
| - | |
| I m still trying to figure that out myself | R |
| - | |
| I ve told you many things before | I |
| but never the things | C |
| I truly wanted to say | V |
| - | |
| So listen carefully | H |
| - | |
| I will always love you | J |
| But I also know the truth now | L |
| I will never change | R2 |
| I will forever remain avoidant | O2 |
| forever running | P |
| forever too much of a coward | O2 |
| to stay when love asks me to be fully seen | S2 |
| - | |
| Yes you tried to protect me | H |
| You were ready for forever | W |
| Ready for all of me | H |
| - | |
| But the truth is | C |
| I was never ready for that kind of love | X |
| - | |
| And I wish I had realised it | O2 |
| before you fell too deeply into me | H |
| - | |
| Everything happened too fast | O2 |
| - | |
| I never healed | O2 |
| Not really | H |
| After that incident | O2 |
| I gave up on life in ways | C |
| I never admitted out loud | O2 |
| - | |
| I chose the shadows | C |
| and slowly turned them into a home | T2 |
| - | |
| And for a long time | U2 |
| you became my home too | O2 |
| - | |
| Not a perfect one | C2 |
| but a place I kept returning to anyway | V |
| - | |
| Maybe part of me still wants to | O2 |
| - | |
| But I ve realised something painful | A2 |
| I painted you with my suffering | P |
| until even you began forgetting yourself | R |
| - | |
| And your life without me | H |
| looked lighter | W |
| - | |
| Peaceful | A2 |
| - | |
| I couldn t give you | O2 |
| the one thing you truly wanted from me | H |
| peace | C |
| - | |
| So I knew | O2 |
| I could never become your forever | W |
| - | |
| And because I loved you | O2 |
| I could not keep you trapped | O2 |
| inside the ruins of my unhealed life | V2 |
| - | |
| Eventually | H |
| it would have destroyed you too | O2 |
N. Khanyile
(C) All Rights Reserved. Poem Submitted on 06/19/2026
Poet's note: The poet wrote this poem reminiscing about her past lover, who loved her a lot, was willing to give up everything for her but she knew that doing that would've destroyed him as well as she was broken. She left him when she didn't want to, but she chose to let go anyway because she realised that sometimes the best thing you can do for someone you love is letting them go and believed that if it was meant to be destiny would bring them together again in the future when the time is right and they are both healed.
(3)
Poem topics: , Print This Poem , Rhyme Scheme
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