Signior Dildo Poem Rhyme Scheme

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You ladies of merry England	A
Who have been to kiss the Duchess's hand	B
Pray did you not lately observe in the show	C
A noble Italian called Signior Dildo	B
	-
This signior was one of the Duchess's train	D
And helped to conduct her over the main	D
But now she cries out 'To the Duke I will go	C
I have no more need for Signior Dildo '	-
	-
At the Sign of the Cross in St James's Street	B
When next you go thither to make yourselves sweet	B
By buying of powder gloves essence or so	C
You may chance to get a sight of Signior Dildo	B
	-
You would take him at first for no person of note	B
Because he appears in a plain leather coat	B
But when you his virtuous abilities know	C
You'll fall down and worship Signior Dildo	B
	-
My Lady Southesk heaven prosper her for't	B
First clothed him in satin then brought him to court	B
But his head in the circle he scarcely durst show	C
So modest a youth was Signior Dildo	B
	-
The good Lady Suffolk thinking no harm	E
Had got this poor stranger hid under her arm	E
Lady Betty by chance came the secret to know	C
And from her own mother stole Signior Dildo	B
	-
The Countess of Falmouth of whom people tell	F
Her footmen wear shirts of a guinea an ell	F
Might save that expense if she did but know	C
How lusty a swinger is Signior Dildo	B
	-
By the help of this gallant the Countess of Rafe	G
Against the fierce Harris preserved herself safe	G
She stifled him almost beneath her pillow	C
So closely she embraced Signior Dildo	B
	-
The pattern of virtue Her Grace of Cleveland	B
Has swallowed more pricks than the ocean has sand	B
But by rubbing and scrubbing so wide does it grow	C
It is fit for just nothing but Signior Dildo	B
	-
Our dainty fine duchesses have got a trick	H
To dote on a fool for the sake of his prick	H
The fops were undone did their graces but know	C
The discretion and vigour of Signior Dildo	B
	-
The Duchess of Modena though she looks so high	I
With such a gallant is content to lie	I
And for fear that the English her secrets should know	C
For her gentleman usher took Signior Dildo	B
	-
The Countess o'th'Cockpit who knows not her name	J
She's famous in story for a killing dame	J
When all her old lovers forsake her I trow	C
She'll then be contented with Signior Dildo	B
	-
Red Howard red Sheldon and Temple so tall	K
Complain of his absence so long from Whitehall	K
Signior Barnard has promised a journey to go	C
And bring back his countryman Signior Dildo	B
	-
Doll Howard no longer with His Highness must range	L
And therefore is proferred this civil exchange	L
Her teeth being rotten she smells best below	C
And needs must be fitted for Signior Dildo	B
	-
St Albans with wrinkles and smiles in his face	M
Whose kindness to strangers becomes his high place	M
In his coach and six horses is gone to Bergo	C
To take the fresh air with Signior Dildo	B
	-
Were this signior but known to the citizen fops	M
He'd keep their fine wives from the foremen o'their shops	M
But the rascals deserve their horns should still grow	C
For burning the Pope and his nephew Dildo	B
	-
Tom Killigrew's wife that Holland fine flower	N
At the sight of this signior did fart and belch sour	N
And her Dutch breeding the further to show	C
Says 'Welcome to England Mynheer Van Dildo '	-
	-
He civilly came to the Cockpit one night	B
And proferred his service to fair Madam Knight	B
Quoth she 'I intrigue with Captain Cazzo	M
Your nose in mine arse good Signior Dildo '	-
	-
This signior is sound safe ready and dumb	O
As ever was candle carrot or thumb	O
Then away with these nasty devices and show	C
How you rate the just merit of Signior Dildo	B
	-
Count Cazzo who carries his nose very high	I
In passion he swore his rival should die	I
Then shut himself up to let the world know	C
Flesh and blood could not bear it from Signior Dildo	I
	-
A rabble of pricks who were welcome before	P
Now finding the porter denied them the door	P
Maliciously waited his coming below	C
And inhumanly fell on Signior Dildo	I
	-
Nigh wearied out the poor stranger did fly	I
And along the Pall Mall they followed full cry	I
The women concerned from every window	I
Cried 'For heaven's sake save Signior Dildo '	-
	-
The good Lady Sandys burst into a laughter	N
To see how the ballocks came wobbling after	N
And had not their weight retarded the foe	I
Indeed't had gone hard with Signior Dildo	I

Lord John Wilmot

Signior Dildo Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis

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