Signior Dildo Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis
Rhyme Scheme: ABCB DDC BBCB BBCB BBCB EECB FFCB GGCB BBCB HHCB IICB JJCB KKCB LLCB MMCB MMCB NNC BBM OOCB IICI PPCI III NNIIYou ladies of merry England | A |
Who have been to kiss the Duchess's hand | B |
Pray did you not lately observe in the show | C |
A noble Italian called Signior Dildo | B |
- | |
This signior was one of the Duchess's train | D |
And helped to conduct her over the main | D |
But now she cries out 'To the Duke I will go | C |
I have no more need for Signior Dildo ' | - |
- | |
At the Sign of the Cross in St James's Street | B |
When next you go thither to make yourselves sweet | B |
By buying of powder gloves essence or so | C |
You may chance to get a sight of Signior Dildo | B |
- | |
You would take him at first for no person of note | B |
Because he appears in a plain leather coat | B |
But when you his virtuous abilities know | C |
You'll fall down and worship Signior Dildo | B |
- | |
My Lady Southesk heaven prosper her for't | B |
First clothed him in satin then brought him to court | B |
But his head in the circle he scarcely durst show | C |
So modest a youth was Signior Dildo | B |
- | |
The good Lady Suffolk thinking no harm | E |
Had got this poor stranger hid under her arm | E |
Lady Betty by chance came the secret to know | C |
And from her own mother stole Signior Dildo | B |
- | |
The Countess of Falmouth of whom people tell | F |
Her footmen wear shirts of a guinea an ell | F |
Might save that expense if she did but know | C |
How lusty a swinger is Signior Dildo | B |
- | |
By the help of this gallant the Countess of Rafe | G |
Against the fierce Harris preserved herself safe | G |
She stifled him almost beneath her pillow | C |
So closely she embraced Signior Dildo | B |
- | |
The pattern of virtue Her Grace of Cleveland | B |
Has swallowed more pricks than the ocean has sand | B |
But by rubbing and scrubbing so wide does it grow | C |
It is fit for just nothing but Signior Dildo | B |
- | |
Our dainty fine duchesses have got a trick | H |
To dote on a fool for the sake of his prick | H |
The fops were undone did their graces but know | C |
The discretion and vigour of Signior Dildo | B |
- | |
The Duchess of Modena though she looks so high | I |
With such a gallant is content to lie | I |
And for fear that the English her secrets should know | C |
For her gentleman usher took Signior Dildo | B |
- | |
The Countess o'th'Cockpit who knows not her name | J |
She's famous in story for a killing dame | J |
When all her old lovers forsake her I trow | C |
She'll then be contented with Signior Dildo | B |
- | |
Red Howard red Sheldon and Temple so tall | K |
Complain of his absence so long from Whitehall | K |
Signior Barnard has promised a journey to go | C |
And bring back his countryman Signior Dildo | B |
- | |
Doll Howard no longer with His Highness must range | L |
And therefore is proferred this civil exchange | L |
Her teeth being rotten she smells best below | C |
And needs must be fitted for Signior Dildo | B |
- | |
St Albans with wrinkles and smiles in his face | M |
Whose kindness to strangers becomes his high place | M |
In his coach and six horses is gone to Bergo | C |
To take the fresh air with Signior Dildo | B |
- | |
Were this signior but known to the citizen fops | M |
He'd keep their fine wives from the foremen o'their shops | M |
But the rascals deserve their horns should still grow | C |
For burning the Pope and his nephew Dildo | B |
- | |
Tom Killigrew's wife that Holland fine flower | N |
At the sight of this signior did fart and belch sour | N |
And her Dutch breeding the further to show | C |
Says 'Welcome to England Mynheer Van Dildo ' | - |
- | |
He civilly came to the Cockpit one night | B |
And proferred his service to fair Madam Knight | B |
Quoth she 'I intrigue with Captain Cazzo | M |
Your nose in mine arse good Signior Dildo ' | - |
- | |
This signior is sound safe ready and dumb | O |
As ever was candle carrot or thumb | O |
Then away with these nasty devices and show | C |
How you rate the just merit of Signior Dildo | B |
- | |
Count Cazzo who carries his nose very high | I |
In passion he swore his rival should die | I |
Then shut himself up to let the world know | C |
Flesh and blood could not bear it from Signior Dildo | I |
- | |
A rabble of pricks who were welcome before | P |
Now finding the porter denied them the door | P |
Maliciously waited his coming below | C |
And inhumanly fell on Signior Dildo | I |
- | |
Nigh wearied out the poor stranger did fly | I |
And along the Pall Mall they followed full cry | I |
The women concerned from every window | I |
Cried 'For heaven's sake save Signior Dildo ' | - |
- | |
The good Lady Sandys burst into a laughter | N |
To see how the ballocks came wobbling after | N |
And had not their weight retarded the foe | I |
Indeed't had gone hard with Signior Dildo | I |
Lord John Wilmot
(1)
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