Signior Dildo Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis

Rhyme Scheme: ABCB DDC BBCB BBCB BBCB EECB FFCB GGCB BBCB HHCB IICB JJCB KKCB LLCB MMCB MMCB NNC BBM OOCB IICI PPCI III NNII

You ladies of merry EnglandA
Who have been to kiss the Duchess's handB
Pray did you not lately observe in the showC
A noble Italian called Signior DildoB
-
This signior was one of the Duchess's trainD
And helped to conduct her over the mainD
But now she cries out 'To the Duke I will goC
I have no more need for Signior Dildo '-
-
At the Sign of the Cross in St James's StreetB
When next you go thither to make yourselves sweetB
By buying of powder gloves essence or soC
You may chance to get a sight of Signior DildoB
-
You would take him at first for no person of noteB
Because he appears in a plain leather coatB
But when you his virtuous abilities knowC
You'll fall down and worship Signior DildoB
-
My Lady Southesk heaven prosper her for'tB
First clothed him in satin then brought him to courtB
But his head in the circle he scarcely durst showC
So modest a youth was Signior DildoB
-
The good Lady Suffolk thinking no harmE
Had got this poor stranger hid under her armE
Lady Betty by chance came the secret to knowC
And from her own mother stole Signior DildoB
-
The Countess of Falmouth of whom people tellF
Her footmen wear shirts of a guinea an ellF
Might save that expense if she did but knowC
How lusty a swinger is Signior DildoB
-
By the help of this gallant the Countess of RafeG
Against the fierce Harris preserved herself safeG
She stifled him almost beneath her pillowC
So closely she embraced Signior DildoB
-
The pattern of virtue Her Grace of ClevelandB
Has swallowed more pricks than the ocean has sandB
But by rubbing and scrubbing so wide does it growC
It is fit for just nothing but Signior DildoB
-
Our dainty fine duchesses have got a trickH
To dote on a fool for the sake of his prickH
The fops were undone did their graces but knowC
The discretion and vigour of Signior DildoB
-
The Duchess of Modena though she looks so highI
With such a gallant is content to lieI
And for fear that the English her secrets should knowC
For her gentleman usher took Signior DildoB
-
The Countess o'th'Cockpit who knows not her nameJ
She's famous in story for a killing dameJ
When all her old lovers forsake her I trowC
She'll then be contented with Signior DildoB
-
Red Howard red Sheldon and Temple so tallK
Complain of his absence so long from WhitehallK
Signior Barnard has promised a journey to goC
And bring back his countryman Signior DildoB
-
Doll Howard no longer with His Highness must rangeL
And therefore is proferred this civil exchangeL
Her teeth being rotten she smells best belowC
And needs must be fitted for Signior DildoB
-
St Albans with wrinkles and smiles in his faceM
Whose kindness to strangers becomes his high placeM
In his coach and six horses is gone to BergoC
To take the fresh air with Signior DildoB
-
Were this signior but known to the citizen fopsM
He'd keep their fine wives from the foremen o'their shopsM
But the rascals deserve their horns should still growC
For burning the Pope and his nephew DildoB
-
Tom Killigrew's wife that Holland fine flowerN
At the sight of this signior did fart and belch sourN
And her Dutch breeding the further to showC
Says 'Welcome to England Mynheer Van Dildo '-
-
He civilly came to the Cockpit one nightB
And proferred his service to fair Madam KnightB
Quoth she 'I intrigue with Captain CazzoM
Your nose in mine arse good Signior Dildo '-
-
This signior is sound safe ready and dumbO
As ever was candle carrot or thumbO
Then away with these nasty devices and showC
How you rate the just merit of Signior DildoB
-
Count Cazzo who carries his nose very highI
In passion he swore his rival should dieI
Then shut himself up to let the world knowC
Flesh and blood could not bear it from Signior DildoI
-
A rabble of pricks who were welcome beforeP
Now finding the porter denied them the doorP
Maliciously waited his coming belowC
And inhumanly fell on Signior DildoI
-
Nigh wearied out the poor stranger did flyI
And along the Pall Mall they followed full cryI
The women concerned from every windowI
Cried 'For heaven's sake save Signior Dildo '-
-
The good Lady Sandys burst into a laughterN
To see how the ballocks came wobbling afterN
And had not their weight retarded the foeI
Indeed't had gone hard with Signior DildoI

Lord John Wilmot



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