I wasn’t supposed to be adopted
I was supposed to be in foster care for a little
Then my mother was supposed to get my brothers and I back
She didn’t even try
She has always been in and out of jail
I cried many nights for her
I gave her chance after chance after chance
I just wanted to feel loved by my biological mother
I just wanted her to be here for me on my best and worst days
I hate wondering if she even loves me
I hate not being able to see her every day
I hate that I’ve cried for her so many times
I hate that I made the people that do care for me feel bad
Well, it’s not my fault
All I want is for her to be here
All I’ve ever wanted was for me to live and grow up with her
All I ever wanted was for her to be my mother
I hate feeling like she doesn’t love me
I hate feeling like she doesn’t care
I just want my mother
I understand she had her first child very young
But that’s her fault
I just hate not being able to talk to her
I just want everything that a girl with her mother has
I just want my mother back

She told me I could go live with her once I turned 18
Why would i want to go live with her then if I'm going to college?
She never really cared about the feelings of any of her children
She was twenty-five when she had me
She was fifteen when she had my oldest brother
She keep saying she loves me
Then why don't I feel it?
I hate her, but she's my mother so I love her
I hate that she never tried
But she gave birth to a strong young woman, so I love her
I hate that she was just willing to let us go
But I love her because I look like her
I just hate that because of her, I don't know what love is
I love her because she taught me that no one truly cares