A Soldier Of Weight Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis
Rhyme Scheme: AABB BCDD EEFF GGHH IIJJ KKLL MMNN O BBPQ RRSS TTLL| In the dim and distant ages in the half forgotten days | A |
| Ere the East became the fashion and an Indian tour the craze | A |
| Lived a certain Major General renowned throughout the State | B |
| As a soldier of distinction and considerable weight | B |
| - | |
| But though weightiness of mind is an invaluable trait | B |
| When applied to adiposity it's all the other way | C |
| And our hero was confronted with an ever growing lack | D |
| Of the necessary charger and the hygienic hack | D |
| - | |
| He had bought them by the dozen he had tried them by the score | E |
| But not one of them was equal to the burden that he bore | E |
| They were conscious of the honour they were sound in wind and limb | F |
| They could carry a cathedral but they drew the line at him | F |
| - | |
| But he stuck to it till finally his pressing needs were filled | G |
| By the mammoth of his species a Leviathan in build | G |
| A superb upstanding brown of unexceptionable bone | H |
| And phenomenally qualified to carry twenty stone | H |
| - | |
| And the General was happy for the noble creature showed | I |
| An unruffled acquiescence with the nature of his load | I |
| Till without the slightest warning that superb upstanding brown | J |
| Thought it time to make a protest which he did by lying down | J |
| - | |
| They appealed to him reproached him gave him sugar cut his feed | K |
| But in vain for almost daily that inexorable steed | K |
| When he heard his master coming looked insultingly around | L |
| And with cool deliberation laid him down upon the ground | L |
| - | |
| But they fought it out between them till the undefeated brute | M |
| Made a humorous obeisance at the General Salute | M |
| Then his owner kicked him wildly in the stomach for his pranks | N |
| Said he'd stand the beast no longer and returned him to the ranks | N |
| - | |
| An interval of about three years | O |
| - | |
| Time has dulled our hero's anguish time has raised our man of weight | B |
| To an even higher office in the service of the State | B |
| And we find him at his yearly tour inspecting at his ease | P |
| A distinguished corps of cavalry the Someone's Own D G 's | Q |
| - | |
| And our fat but famous man of war accoutred to the nines | R |
| Was engaged in making rude remarks and going round the lines | R |
| When he suddenly beheld across an intervening space | S |
| A Leviathan of horseflesh the Behemoth of his race | S |
| - | |
| 'Colonel Robinson ' he shouted with enthusiastic force | T |
| 'A remarkably fine horse sir ' The remarkably fine horse | T |
| Gave a reminiscent shudder looked insultingly around | L |
| And with cold deliberation laid him down upon the ground | L |
John Kendall (dum-dum)
(1)
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