Universally Respected Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis

Rhyme Scheme: ABCCC DCDC CECEFGFH IJIJ KLKL CMCI NONO PQPQ PQPQ IDID RSRS ICIC ICIC ACTCTDFDF PSPA ICIC QQQ Q CQCQ CDCD CUCU VCVC FWFW PXPX CYCY ICIC

IA
Biggs was missing Biggs had vanished all the town was in a fermentB
For if ever man was looked to for an edifying endC
With due mortuary outfit and a popular intermentC
It was Biggs the universal guide philosopher and friendC
-
But the man had simply vanished speculation wove no tissueD
That would hold a drop of water each new theoryfell flatC
It was most unsatisfactory and hanging on the issueD
Were a thousand wagers ranging from a pony to a hatC
-
Not a trace could search discover in the township or without itC
And the river had been dragged from morn till night with no availE
His continuity had ceased and that was all about itC
And there wasn't even a grease spot left behind to tell the taleE
That so staid a man as Biggs was should be swallowed up in mysteryF
Lent an increment to wonder he who trod no doubtful pathsG
But stood square to his surroundings with no cloud upon his historyF
As the much respected lessee of the Corporation BathsH
-
His affairs were all in order since the year the alligatorI
With a startled river bather made attempt to coalesceJ
The resulting wave of decency had greater grown and greaterI
And the Corporation Baths had been a marvellous successJ
-
Nor could trouble in the household solve the riddle of his clearanceK
For his bride was now in heaven and the issue of the matchL
Was a patient drudge whose virtues were as plain as her appearanceK
Just the sort whereto no scandal could conceivably attachL
-
So the Whither and the Why alike mysterious were countedC
And as Faith steps in to aid where baffled Reason must retireM
There were those averred so good a man as Biggs might well have mountedC
Up to glory like Elijah in a chariot of fireI
-
For indeed he was a good man when he sat beside the portalN
Of the Bath house at his pigeon hole a saint within a frameO
We used to think his face was as the face of an immortalN
As he handed us our tickets and took payment for the sameO
-
And oh the sweet advice with which he made of such occasionP
A duplicate detergent for our morals and our limbsQ
For he taught us that decorum was the essence of salvationP
And that cleanliness and godliness were merely synonymsQ
-
But that open air ablution in the river was a treasonP
To the purer instincts fit for dogs and aboriginesQ
And that wrath at such misconduct was the providential reasonP
For the jaws of alligators and the tails of stingareesQ
-
But alas our friend was gone our guide philosopher and tutorI
And we doubled our potations just to clear the inner viewD
But we only saw the darklier through the bottom of the pewterI
And the mystery seemed likewise to be multiplied by twoD
-
And the worst was that our failure to unriddle the enigmaR
In the rags of rival towns was made a by word and a scoffS
Till each soul in the community felt branded with the stigmaR
Of the unexplained damnation of poor Biggs's taking offS
-
So a dozen of us rose and swore this thing should be no longerI
Though the means that Nature furnished had been tried without resultC
There were forces supersensual that higher were and strongerI
And with consentaneous clamour we pronounced for the occultC
-
Then Joe Thomson slung a tenner and Jack Robinson a tannerI
And each according to his means respectively disbursedC
And a letter in your humble servant's most seductive mannerI
Was despatched to Sludge the Medium recently of DarlinghurstC
-
IIA
I am Biggs the spirit said 't was through the medium's lips he said itC
But the voice that spoke the accent too were Biggs's very ownT
Be it therefore not set down to our unmerited discreditC
That collectively we sickened as we recognized the toneT
From a saurian interior Christian friends I now address youD
And Oh heaven or its correlative groaned shudderingly weF
While there yet remains a scrap of my identity for bless youD
This ungodly alligator's fast assimilating meF
-
For although through nine abysmal days I've fought with his digestionP
Being hostile to his processes and loth to pulpifyS
It is rapidly becoming a most complicated questionP
How much of me is crocodile how much of him is IA
-
And oh my friends 'tis sorrow's crown of sorrow to rememberI
That this sacrilegious reptile owed me nought but gratitudeC
For I bought him from a showman twenty years since come NovemberI
And I dropped him in the river for his own and others' goodC
-
It had grieved me that the spouses of our townsmen and their daughtersQ
Should be shocked by river bathers and their indecorous waysQ
So I cast my bread that is my alligator on the watersQ
-
And I found it in a credit balance after many daysQ
-
Years I waited but at last there came the rumour long expectedC
And the out of door ablutionists forsook their wicked pathsQ
And the issues of my handiwork divinely were directedC
In a constant flow of custom to the Corporation BathsQ
-
'Twas a weakling when I bought it 'twas so young that you could pet itC
But with all its disadvantages I reckoned it would doD
And it did Oh lay the moral well to heart and don't forget itC
Put decorum first and all things shall be added unto youD
-
Lies all lies I've done with virtue Why should I be interestedC
In the cause of moral progress that I served so long in vainU
When the fifteen hundred odd I've so judiciously investedC
Will but go to pay the debts of some young rip who marries JaneU
-
But the reptile overcomes me my identity is sinkingV
Let me hasten to the finish let my words be few and fitC
I was walking by the river in the starry silence thinkingV
Of what Providence had done for me and I had done for itC
-
I had reached the saurian's rumoured haunt where oft in fatal follyF
I had dropped garotted dogs to keep his carnal craving upW
Said Joe Thomson in a whisper That explains my Highland collieF
Said Bob Williams sotto voce That explains my Dandy pupW
-
I had passed to moral questions and found comfort in the notionP
That fools are none the worse for things not being what they seemX
When behold a seeming log became instinct with life and motionP
And with sudden curvature of tail upset me in the streamX
-
Then my leg as in a vice But here the revelation falteredC
And the medium rose and shook himself remarking with a smileY
That the requisite conditions were irrevocably alteredC
For the personality of Biggs was lost in crocodileY
-
-
Now whether Sludge's story would succeed in holding waterI
Is more perhaps than one has any business to expectC
But I know that on the strength of it I married Biggs's daughterI
And I found a certain portion of the narrative correctC

James Brunton Stephens



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