The Great Pig Story Of The Tweed Poem Rhyme Scheme

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James Brunton Stephens

The Great Pig Story Of The Tweed Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis

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Hands off old man the young man cried	A
They stood beside the Tweed	B
Where still the name of Murder Creek	C
Records some bloody deed	B
	-
The old man seized the hapless youth	D
With frantic grasp and rough	E
By what is popularly called	F
But vulgarly the scruff	E
	-
And shouted as he twirled him round	G
And shook him to and fro	H
Was them consignments pigs Great Scott	I
Was them things pigs or no	H
	-
Wild eyed and gaunt and grim he stood	J
Beneath the scorching noon	K
Cantharides P Roebuck late	L
Of the steamboat Arakoon	K
	-
He was an ancient mariner	M
A Yankee skipper he	N
Whom winds of adverse destiny	N
Had blown across the sea	N
	-
Whom hither still had Fate pursued	O
And served with many a trick	P
Till now he roamed the Tweed a one	K
Idea'd lunatic	P
	-
Whom all men shunned for whosoe'er	M
Upon his beat might chance	Q
Was bound to hear his tale in each	R
Minutest circumstance	Q
	-
A tale that haunted such as heard	S
Nor left them night or day	T
A torturing enigma too	U
That turned their wits astray	T
For ofttimes they like him who told	V
Would vaguely wandering go	H
And cry Was them consignments pigs	W
Was them things pigs or no	H
	-
Hands off again the young man cried	A
It's this way boss you see	N
	-
We've come a stretch of thirty mile	X
Her uncle her an' me	N
	-
You see it's this way Parson comes	Y
Our road but once a year	M
We lives at Yougerbungaree	M
Just thirty mile from here	M
	-
At sundown yesterday I spied	A
The parson ridin' past	Z
I runs to Sue's an' Sue says I	A2
Our chance is come at last	Z
	-
This morning to his camp we goes	B2
Us three an' mother four	M
Splice us says we but parson he	N
Puts in his blessed oar	M
	-
Fill up this form says he We fills	C2
Hullo he cries my dear	M
Father alive You under age	D2
Me marry ye No fear	M
	-
Don't throttle boss Says parson then	K
Go seek a magistrate	L
Get his consent an hurry back	E2
I leave to night at eight '	-
	-
So off we starts ten mile an hour	M
For heav'n's sake let me speak	C
You see it's this way boss they've gone	K
To square it with the beak	C
	-
I'm only hangin' round I fixed	F2
To meet them there at one	K
An' if I fail my pretty Sue	U
Will think I've cut an' run	K
	-
Was them things pigs Oh drat the pigs	W
It's this way boss we're late	L
Think thirty mile the mokes dead beat	G2
An' parson off at eight	L
	-
'Twas all in vain and when at length	H2
Exhausted limp and pale	I2
He gave reluctant ear 'twas thus	J2
The skipper told his tale	I2
	-
I took the things on board as pigs	W
As pigs I signed for them	K2
I passed an entry on them pigs	W
	-
Pigs sar from starn to stem	K2
	-
Wal wal I little guessed that Fate	L
Would play it down so low	H
Was them things pigs d'ye hear But how	L2
The Hades should you know	H
	-
It was the steamboat Arakoon	H
A craft of coasting fame	M2
Cantharides P Roebuck sar	M
Was skipper of the same	M2
	-
The iserlated cusses here	M
Was runnin' all to seed	B
When first the steamboat Arakoon	H
Come tradin' to the Tweed	B
	-
Pigs pigs all sprung mark that from two	U
They fetched them by the score	M
An' nary strain had crossed the breed	B
For twenty year an' more	M
	-
I cleaned the settlement of pigs	W
Upp'd steam an' tore for town	H
Nor guessed that them all fired galoots	W
Had been and done me brown	H
	-
An' sech a voyage grunt and squeak	C
Pard never load with swine	H
Whate'er the durned abortions wur	M
The grunt was genu ine	H
	-
A hundred thousand times I swore	M
To drown them in the sea	W
But lord they had an idgiot look	N2
That fairly gravelled me	W
	-
We made the port Upon the wharf	E
A Brisbane butcher sot	O2
An' through the roarin' of the steam	P2
He hollered What ye got	I
	-
Got pigs sez I like bullocks sar	M
Cries butcher I'm your man	H
An' clewin' up his apron slick	P
Along the plank he ran	H
	-
But here the youth renewed his plaint	I
Have mercy on me mate	I
It's thirty miles the mokes dead beat	I
An' parson leaves at eight	I
	-
He eyed the brutes the tale flowed on	H
An' tossed his cuss d head	I
An' turnin' on his heel sez he	W
I thought 'twas pigs you said	I
	-
An' ain't them pigs but he was gone	H
Wal though I biled at this	W
I tried my level best to see	W
The p'ints he took amiss	W
	-
But 'cep' a kinder cur'ous smile	X
That squintin' didn't mend	I
An' an appealin' way they had	I
Of settin' up on end	I
	-
An' cept' about the snout a tech	Q2
Of Native Porkypine	H
I couldn't see no reason why	A2
That parcel wasn't swine	H
	-
Wal stranger just as I had cussed	I
My liver into tune	H
Another bloomin' butcher stepped	I
On board the Arakoon	H
	-
But here at sound of distant hoofs	W
The captive writhed anew	H
That's them he cried They've given me up	R2
Oh curse your pigs and you	H
	-
No pard it ain't no use to squirm	S2
Whar was I le'mme see	W
Another butcher jumps aboard	I
Good marnin' sar sez he	W
	-
Got any p ' But here he stuck	T2
The critturs caught his eye	A2
Sakes how he stared as one by one	H
The things meandered by	A2
	-
At length sez he astoopin' down	H
The better to survey	T
I wonder now what day o the week	C
The Lord created they	T
	-
What name mate Pigs sar PIGS I yelled	I
As prime as ever growed	I
D'ye know pigs when you see them sar	M
Oh pigs sez he be blowed	I
	-
Pard should you come across him say	T
	-
That I apologize	W
For oh I banged that butcher's head	I
Agin the smokestack guys	W
	-
I sought an old an' trusted friend	I
A butcher in the town	H
I struck his diggin's seized him hailed	I
A shay and yanked him down	H
	-
I carried him aboard he was	W
A heavy man and slow	H
Now on your naked oath sez I	A2
Air them things pigs or no	H
	-
He made no sign he made no sound	I
But something in his eye	A2
As plain as signal lights declared	I
The contract was awry	A2
	-
At last sez he consid'rin' like	U2
An' strokin' down his jaws	W
Cantharides P it seems to me	W
Them pettitoes is claws	W
	-
Great Neptune that was all I said	I
And fell down in a swoon	H
A broken wreck upon the deck	Q2
Of the steamboat Arakoon	H
	-
But twurn't Finis yet old hoss	W
For at the smell of gin	H
Cantharides P Roebuck's soul	V2
Jumped back into his skin	H
	-
Go fetch me a zew ologist	I
I thundered as I rose	W
Let's see what larn d science makes	W
Of them 'ere pettitoes	W
Who knows of one The fireman's son	H
Sez Captain if you please	W
If what you mean stuffs beastises	W
I'll fetch you wan o' these	W
	-
Go bub I cried Make tracks to onst	I
An' ketch him out or in	H
This butcherin' conspiracy	W
Is just a trifle thin	H
	-
Wal pard the great man came I slipped	I
A sov'rin in his hand	I
	-
Which though he 'peared almighty skeered	I
He seemed to understand	I
	-
Sez I then as he stooped an' spread	I
His hands upon his knees	W
Illustrious zew ologist	I
What articles air these	W
	-
A wild surprise lit up his eyes	W
As through his specs he blinked	I
Dear me sez he I always thought	I
That griffins wur extinct	I
	-
	-
From that to this is blank all blank	W2
But if 'tis true they say	W
I ordered round the vessel's head	I
An' ran her down the Bay	W
	-
An' there in spite of mate an' crew	H
An' cook an' fireman's son	H
I slung the critturs overboard	I
An' drowned them every one	H
	-
An' now beside this bless d Tweed	I
I wander day an' night	I
An' vainly ask of airth an' heaven	H
To read the riddle right	I
	-
I ask the sea I ask the skies	W
I ask it high an' low	H
Was them 'ere shipments pigs Great Scott	I
Was them things pigs or no	H
	-
	-
That night at Yougerbungaree	H
The house clock striking ten	H
Into a maiden's presence burst	I
The most distraught of me	W