How Jack Found That Beans May Go Back On A Chap Poem Rhyme Scheme

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Without the slightest basis	A
For hypochondriasis	A
A widow had forebodings which a cloud around her flung	B
And with expression cynical	C
For half the day a clinical	C
Thermometer she held beneath her tongue	B
	-
Whene'er she read the papers	A
She suffered from the vapors	A
At every tale of malady or accident she'd groan	D
In every new and smart disease	A
From housemaid's knee to heart disease	A
She recognized the symptoms as her own	D
	-
She had a yearning chronic	E
To try each novel tonic	E
Elixir panacea lotion opiate and balm	F
And from a homoeopathist	G
Would change to an hydropathist	G
And back again with stupefying calm	F
	-
The closets of her villa	H
Were full of sarsaparilla	H
Ammonia digitalis bronchial troches soda mint	G
Restoratives hirsutical	H
And soaps to clean the cuticle	H
And iodine and peptonoids and lint	G
	-
She was nervous cataleptic	E
And anemic and dyspeptic	E
Though not convinced of apoplexy yet she had her fears	A
She dwelt with force fanatical	H
Upon a twinge rheumatical	H
And said she had a buzzing in her ears	A
	-
Now all of this bemoaning	E
And this grumbling and this groaning	E
The mind of Jack her son and heir unconscionably bored	G
His heart completely hardening	E
He gave his time to gardening	E
For raising beans was something he adored	G
	-
Each hour in accents morbid	G
This limp maternal bore bid	G
Her callous son affectionate and lachrymose good bys	A
She never granted Jack a day	G
Without some long Alackaday	G
Accompanied by rolling of the eyes	A
	-
But Jack no panic showing	E
Just watched his beanstalk growing	E
And twined with tender fingers the tendrils up the pole	H
At all her words funereal	H
He smiled a smile ethereal	H
Or sighed an absent minded Bless my soul	H
	-
That hollow hearted creature	I
Would never change a feature	I
No tear bedimmed his eye however touching was her talk	E
She never fussed or flurried him	J
The only thing that worried him	J
Was when no bean pods grew upon the stalk	E
	-
But then he wabbled loosely	H
His head and wept profusely	H
And taking out his handkerchief to mop away his tears	A
Exclaimed It hasn't got any	H
He found this blow to botany	H
Was sadder than were all his mother's fears	A
	-
	-
The Moral is that gardeners pine	K
Whene'er no pods adorn the vine	K
Of all sad words experience gleans	A
The saddest are It might have beans	A
I did not make this up myself	L
'Twas in a book upon my shelf	L
It's witty but I don't deny	M
It's rather Whittier than I	M

Guy Wetmore Carryl

How Jack Found That Beans May Go Back On A Chap Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis

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