How Beauty Contrived To Get Square With The Beast Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis

Rhyme Scheme: AABCCBDDECCE FFGHHGIICCCC HHHJJHKKHLLH MMHCCHNNCOOC HHPHHPGGCQQC MMRSSRCCHHHH HHHHHHKKGHHT HHKK

Miss Guinevere PlattA
Was so beautiful thatA
She couldn't remember the dayB
When one of her swainsC
Hadn't taken the painsC
To send her a mammoth bouquetB
And the postman had foundD
On the whole of his roundD
That no one received such a lotE
Of bulky epistlesC
As waiting his whistlesC
The beautiful Guinevere gotE
-
A significant signF
That her charm was divineF
Was seen in society whenG
The chaperons sniffedH
With their eyebrows aliftH
Whatever's got into the menG
There was always a manI
Who was holding her fanI
And twenty that danced in detailsC
And a couple of mournersC
Who brooded in cornersC
And gnawed their mustaches and nailsC
-
John Jeremy PlattH
Wouldn't stay in the flatH
For his beautiful daughter he missedH
When he'd taken his tubJ
He would hie to his clubJ
And dally with poker or whistH
At the end of a yearK
It was perfectly clearK
That he'd never computed the costH
For he hadn't a pennyL
To settle the manyL
Ten thousands of dollars he'd lostH
-
F Ferdinand FifeM
Was a student of lifeM
He was coarse and excessively fatH
With a beard like a goat'sC
But he held all the notesC
Of ruined John Jeremy PlattH
With an adamant smileN
That was brimming with guileN
He said I am took with the faceC
Of your beautiful daughterO
And wed me she ought terO
To save you from utter disgraceC
-
Miss Guinevere PlattH
Didn't hesitate atH
Her duty's imperative callP
When they looked at the brideH
All the chaperons criedH
She isn't so bad after allP
Of the desolate menG
There were something like tenG
Who took up political livesC
And the flower of the flockQ
Went and fell off a dockQ
And the rest married hideous wivesC
-
But the beautiful wifeM
Of F Ferdinand FifeM
Was the wildest that ever was knownR
She'd grumble and glareS
Till the man didn't dareS
To say that his soul was his ownR
She sneered at his illsC
And quadrupled his billsC
And spent nearly twice what he earnedH
Her husband desertedH
And frivoled and flirtedH
Till Ferdinand's reason was turnedH
-
He repented too lateH
And his terrible fateH
Upon him so heavily satH
That he swore at the dayH
When he sat down to playH
At cards with John Jeremy PlattH
He was dead in a yearK
And the fair GuinevereK
In society sparkled againG
While the chaperons flutteredH
Their fans as they mutteredH
She's getting exceedingly plainT
-
-
The Moral Predicaments often are foundH
That beautiful duty is apt to get roundH
But greedy extortioners better bewareK
For dutiful beauty is apt to get squareK

Guy Wetmore Carryl



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