The Horrible History Of Jones Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis

Rhyme Scheme: AABBCDEEFFGGHDIIJKLL MMNOOPDEOOQQRRSSSSSS JJDSSSSS SSTTSS

Jones had a dog it had a chainA
Not often worn not causing painA
But as the I K L had passedB
Their 'Unleashed Cousins Act' at lastB
Inspectors took the chain awayC
Whereat the canine barked 'Hooray 'D
At which of course the S P UE
Whose Nervous Motorists' Bill was throughE
Were forced to give the dog in chargeF
For being Audibly at LargeF
None you will say were now annoyedG
Save haply Jones the yard was voidG
But something being in the leaseH
About 'alarms to aid the police 'D
The U S U annexed the yardI
For having no sufficient guardI
Now if there's one conditionJ
The C C P are strong uponK
It is that every house one buysL
Must have a yard for exerciseL
So Jones as tenant was unfitM
His state of health was proof of itM
Two doctors of the T T U 'sN
Told him his legs from long disuseO
Were atrophied and saying 'SoO
From step to higher step we goP
Till everything is New and True 'D
They cut his legs off and withdrewE
You know the E T S T 's viewsO
Are stronger than the T T U 'sO
And soon as one may say took wingQ
The Arms though not the Man I singQ
To see him sitting limbless thereR
Was more than the K K could bearR
'In mercy silence with all speedS
That mouth there are no hands to feedS
What cruel sentimentalistS
O Jones would doom thee to existS
Clinging to selfish Selfhood yetS
Weak one Such reasoning might upsetS
The Pump Act and the accumulationJ
Of all constructive legislationJ
Let us construct you up a bit 'D
The head fell off when it was hitS
Then words did rise and honest doubtS
And four Commissioners sat aboutS
Whether the slash that left him deadS
Cut off his body or his headS
-
An author in the Isle of WightS
Observed with unconcealed delightS
A land of just and old renownT
Where Freedom slowly broadened downT
From Precedent to PrecedentS
And this I think was what he meantS

Gilbert Keith Chesterton



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