Love Letters Of A Violinist. Letter Vi. Despair Poem Rhyme Scheme

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Eric Mackay

Love Letters Of A Violinist. Letter Vi. Despair Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis

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Letter VI Despair	A
	-
	-
I	-
	-
I am undone My hopes have beggar'd me	B
For I have lov'd where loving was denied	C
To day is dark and Yesterday has died	C
And when To morrow comes erect and free	B
Like some great king whose tyrant will he be	B
And whose defender in the days of pride	C
	-
	-
II	-
	-
I am not cold and yet November bands	D
Compress my heart I know the month is May	E
And that the sun will warm me if I stay	E
But who is this Oh who is this that stands	D
Straight in my path and with his bony hands	D
Appeals to me to turn some other way	E
	-
	-
III	-
	-
It is the phantom of my murder'd joy	F
Which once again has come to persecute	G
And tell me tales which late I did refute	G
But lo I now must heed them as a boy	F
Takes up in tears the remnants of a toy	F
Or bard forlorn the fragments of a lute	G
	-
	-
IV	H
	-
It is the ghost that day by day did come	I
To tempt my spirit to the mountain peak	J
It is the thing that wept and would not speak	J
And with a sign to show that it was dumb	I
Did seem to hint at Death that was the sum	I
Of all we know and all we strive to seek	J
	-
	-
V	H
	-
And now it comes again and with its eye	-
Bloodshot and blear though pallid in its face	K
Doth point exacting to the very place	K
Where I do keep that no one may descry	B
A lady's glove a ribbon and a dry	B
A perjur'd rose which oft I did embrace	K
	-
	-
VI	B
	-
It means perchance that I must make an end	L
Of all these things and burn them as a fee	H
To my Despair when down upon my knee	H
O piteous thing have pity be my friend	L
Or say at least that blessings will descend	L
On her I love on her if not on me	H
	-
	-
VII	H
	-
The Shape did smile and wildly with a start	M
Did shrivel up as when a fire is spent	N
Whereof the smoke obscured the firmament	N
And then I knew it had but tried my heart	N
To teach me how to play a manly part	N
And strengthen me in all my good intent	N
	-
	-
VIII	H
	-
And here I stand alone e'en like a leaf	H
In sudden frost as quiet as the wing	O
Of wounded bird which knows it cannot sing	O
A child may moan but not a mountain chief	H
If we be sad if we possess a grief	H
The grief should be the slave and not the king	O
	-
	-
IX	K
	-
Yes I will pause and pluck from out the Past	N
The full discernment of my sorry cheer	B
And why the sunlight seems no longer clear	B
And why in spite of anguish and the vast	N
The sickly blank that o'er my life is cast	N
I cannot kneel to day or shed a tear	B
	-
	-
X	K
	-
It was thy friendship It was this I had	N
This and no more I was a fool to doubt	N
I was a fool to strive to put to rout	N
My many foes thy musings tender glad	N
Which all had said Avoid him he is mad	N
Mad with his love and Love's erratic shout	N
	-
	-
XI	K
	-
I should have known I should have guess'd in time	P
That like a soft mirage at twilight hour	B
My dream would melt and rob me of its dower	B
I should have guess'd that all the heights sublime	P
Which look'd like spires and cities built in rhyme	P
Would droop and die like petals from a flower	B
	-
	-
XII	K
	-
I should have known indeed that to the brave	H
All things are servants But my lost Delight	N
Was like the ship that founders in a night	N
And leaves no mark How then Is Passion's grave	H
All that is left beside the sobbing wave	H
The foam thereof the saltness and the blight	N
	-
	-
XIII	K
	-
I had a fleet of ships and where are they	E
Where are they all and where the merchandise	K
I treasured once an empire's golden prize	K
The empire of a soul which in a day	E
Lost all its wealth I was deceiv'd I say	E
For I had reckon'd on propitious skies	K
	-
	-
XIV	H
	-
I look'd afar and saw no sign of wrack	Q
I look'd anear and felt the summer breeze	K
Warm on my cheek and forth upon the seas	K
I sent my ships and would not have them back	Q
Though some averr'd a storm was on the track	Q
Of all I lov'd and all I own'd of these	K
	-
	-
XV	H
	-
One ship was Joy the second Truth the third	N
Love in a Dream and last not least of all	R
Hope and Content and Pride that hath a Fall	R
And they were goodly vessels by my word	N
With sails as strong as pinions of a bird	N
And crew that answer'd well to Duty's call	R
	-
	-
XVI	H
	-
In one of these in Hope where I did fly	B
A lofty banner in that ship I found	N
Doom's day at last and all my crew were drown'd	N
Yes I was wreck'd in this and here I lie	B
Here on the beach forlorn and like to die	B
With none to pray for me on holy ground	N
	-
	-
XVII	H
	-
O sweet my Lady If thou pass this way	E
And thou behold me where I lie beset	N
By wind and wave and powerless to forget	N
Wilt not approach me thoughtfully and say	E
This man was true He lov'd me night and day	E
And though I spurn'd at him he loves me yet	N
	-
	-
XVIII	H
	-
Wilt not withhold thy blame at least to night	N
And shed for me a tear as one may grieve	H
For people known in books for men who weave	H
Ropes out of sand to lead them to the light	N
Oh treat me thus and by thy hand so white	N
I will forego the dreams to which I cleave	H
	-
	-
XIX	E
	-
Be just to me and say when all is o'er	B
When some such book is calmly laid aside	N
The shadow men have liv'd and lov'd and died	N
The shadow women will be vexed no more	B
But there is One for whom my heart is sore	B
Because he took a shadow for his guide	N
	-
	-
XX	E
	-
Say only this but pray for me withal	B
And let a pitying thought possess thee then	S
Whether at home at sea or in a glen	S
In some wild nook It were a joy to fall	B
Dead at thy feet as at a trumpet's call	B
For I should then be peerless among men	S