A Poor Joke Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis
Rhyme Scheme: ABCBDEDE FGFGAHAH IJKJFHFH DLDLMNMN HEHONPNP MQMQDPDP PHPHRMRM PQPQSRSR MMMMNFNS PHPHSTST NHNHUPUP PHPHHVHV FHFHNHNH UNUNFNF'No you can't count me in boys I'm off it | A |
I'm jack of them practical jokes | B |
They give neither pleasure nor profit | C |
And the fellers that plays them are mokes | B |
I've got sense though I once was a duffer | D |
And I fooled up my share I allow | E |
But since conscience has made me to suffer | D |
She's pegging away at me now | E |
- | |
You notice I've aged rather early | F |
And the wrinkles are deep on my face | G |
That's sorrer I'm sixty nine barely | F |
Jes' camp and I'll tell you my case | G |
It was here on The Springs we had hit it | A |
And we working the lead on this spot | H |
And we were to my shame I admit it | A |
A rather unprincipled lot | H |
- | |
'We were drunk all the day on the Sundays | I |
No wickeder habit exists | J |
And our exercise mostly on Mondays | K |
Was feats of endurance with fists | J |
See the wash wasn't what we'd call wealthy | F |
Ten pennyweight stuff thereabout | H |
And we took matters easy and healthy | F |
Now we'd rush for the same I've no doubt | H |
- | |
'Well one morning from over the border | D |
Two Mongols moved inter the camp | L |
Which we voted a thing out of order | D |
The climate for Chows was too damp | L |
But it happened a couple of troopers | M |
Arrived on The Springs that same week | N |
So the Chinks in their opium stupors | M |
Didn't wander down inter the creek | N |
- | |
'Or get drowned in the dam at The Crescent | H |
As we reckoned might happen somehow | E |
But they settled down easy and pleasant | H |
And there wasn't the smell of a row | O |
Howsomever we weren't long twigging | N |
The Chows were an ignerent pair | P |
And knew nothin' at all about digging | N |
And that was our chance to get square | P |
- | |
'It was 'cording to Bastow's directions | M |
Though I volunteered for the game | Q |
To ensnare their Mongolian affections | M |
And lay them right on to a claim | Q |
Round the bend where we'd bottomed a duffer | D |
Myself and Pat Foley right there | P |
Where the sinking is deep and is tougher | D |
Than the hobs of Gehenna I swear | P |
- | |
'That shaft was a regular clinker | P |
Which it riles me to think of to day | H |
Quite a fortnight it took us to sink her | P |
And then we came through on the clay | H |
Not the ghost of a handful of gravel | R |
Well we dropped it without any fuss | M |
On the hill pegged the best we could snavel | R |
And the devil could prospect for us | M |
- | |
'But the Pagans were not a bit wiser | P |
And I counted it pretty fair game | Q |
To appear as their friend and adviser | P |
And induce them to take up that claim | Q |
By a cracking the lay and position | S |
So's to get them to sink on the clay | R |
Till they struck a hot shop in Perdition | S |
Or tapped water in Europe some day | R |
- | |
'But the heathens were mighty suspicious | M |
Wouldn't have it I cared for their sakes | M |
Here I state that all Chinkies are vicious | M |
And I hate them like fever and snakes | M |
Then I tried a new system of dealing | N |
And offered advice at a fee | F |
And they caught on like winking Fine feeling | N |
Is wasted on any Chinee | S |
- | |
'So they pegged out our cast off the duffer | P |
Their rights they had made out exact | H |
And Ah Kit who was boss wouldn't suffer | P |
Any little neglect of the Act | H |
And I put in their pegs to a fraction | S |
As grave as a brick on a hob | T |
Rigged up things to their full satisfaction | S |
And charged them five quid for the job | T |
- | |
Well the heathens soon set their picks going | N |
And they seemed rather fond of the graft | H |
Though the boys had had trouble in stowing | N |
A heap of dead things in the shaft | H |
And we chuckled and thought we had got 'em | U |
I knew I could tickle the pair | P |
To keep sinking on inter the bottom | U |
For gravel that never was there | P |
- | |
'Next night a most harrowing rumour | P |
Went round and the camp was half daft | H |
It was said that a nugget a boomer | P |
Had been found by the Chows in our shaft | H |
'Point of fact that the Pagans had struck it | H |
Had knocked down a sample of wash | V |
That looked good for a pound to the bucket | H |
And our joke had gone hopelessly squash | V |
- | |
'It was c'rect boys by all that is holy | F |
We'd struck a false bottom no doubt | H |
And the fortune of self and of Foley | F |
Was scooped by Ah Kit and Ah Gout | H |
We resolved that these Chinese were sapping | N |
The wealth of the land and agreed | H |
On a project for catching them napping | N |
When the troopers rode on to the lead | H |
- | |
Yes we scrambled for claims all around 'em | U |
And we made the foam fly for a week | N |
But the Chows had the gilt edge Confound 'em | U |
They'd lobbed right on top of the streak | N |
No your joke boys I reckon is risky | F |
And somewhat ridic'lus I think | N |
But I'm with you for friendship and whiskey | F |
If one of you orders the drink ' | - |
Edward Dyson
(1)
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