Foma Bobrov And His Spouse Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis
Rhyme Scheme: A B CDEFDGGHIJKKHAILFMNK OJAHPQNQF| GRANNY Bobrov Playing patience Now that's the card Oh it's all coming out topsy turvy A king And where am I supposed to put that Just when you want one there's never a five around Oh I could do with a five Now it'll be the five Oh sod it another king | A |
| - | |
| She flings the cards on to the table with such force that a porcelain vase falls off the table and smashes | B |
| - | |
| GRANNY Oh Oh My Gawd These bloody cards She crawls under the table and picks up the pieces This'll never glue back together again And it was a good vase too You can't get them like that any more This bit's right over there Stretches for the piece BOBROV enters the room | C |
| BOBROV Granny Is that you clambering about under the table | D |
| GRANNY Yes okay okay What do you want | E |
| BOBROV I just came to ask you you wouldn't happen to have a chest of tea | F |
| GRANNY Come on then give me a hand up from under the table | D |
| BOBROV What have you done dropped something Oh you've broken the vase | G |
| GRANNY Mimicking him You've broken the vase | G |
| BOBROV helps GRANNY up But as soon as he lets go of her GRANNY sits back down on the floor | H |
| BOBROV Oh you're down again | I |
| GRANNY Down so now what | J |
| BOBROV Let me help you up Pulls GRANNY up | K |
| GRANNY The cards were going badly I tried this and that But don't pull me by the arms get hold of me under the armpits All I got you know was king after king I need a five and all the kings keep turning up | K |
| BOBROV lets go of GRANNY and GRANNY again sprawls on the floor | H |
| GRANNY Akh | A |
| BOBROV Oh Lord You're down again | I |
| GRANNY What are you on about down down What are you after anyway | L |
| BOBROV I came to ask if you've a chest of tea | F |
| GRANNY I know that You've already told me I don't like listening to the same tale twenty times The thing is akh I'm down again and a chest of tea Well what are you looking at Get me up I'm telling you | M |
| BOBROV Pulling GRANNY up I'll just excuse me put you in the armchair | N |
| GRANNY You'd do better to prattle on a bit less and pull me up in a proper fashion I meant to tell you and it almost slipped my mind you know that door in my bedroom isn't shutting properly again No doubt you messed the whole thing up | K |
| BOBROV No I put a staple on with fillister head screws | O |
| GRANNY Do you think I know anything about staples and fillister heads I don't care about all that I just want the door to shut | J |
| BOBROV It doesn't shut properly because the fillister heads won't stay in the woodwork | A |
| GRANNY That'll do that'll do That's your business I just need to Akh She again sprawls on the floor | H |
| BOBROV Oh Lord | P |
| GRANNY Have you decided to fling me to the floor deliberately Decided to have a bit of fun Oh you useless devil You're just a useless devil and you might as well clear off | Q |
| BOBROV No Granny 'onest injun I just meant to put you in the armchair | N |
| GRANNY Did you hear what I said I told you to clear out So why aren't you going Well why aren't you going Do you hear Clear off out of it Well Bugger off exits BOBROV | Q |
| GRANNY Off Go on Away Bugger off Talk about a reprobate Gets up from the floor and sits in the armchair And his wife is simply an indecent madam The madam walks about absolutely starkers and doesn't bat an eyelid even in front of me an old woman She covers her indecent patch with the palm of her hand and that's the way she walks around And then she touches bread with that hand at lunchtime It's simply revolting to watch She thinks that if she's young and pretty then she can do anything she likes And as for herself the trollop she never washes herself properly just where she should do I she says like a whiff of woman to come from a woman And as for me as soon as I see her coming I'm straight into the bathroom with the eau de Cologne to my nose Perhaps it may be nice for men but as for me you can spare me that The shameless hussy She goes around naked without the slightest embarrassment And when she sits down she doesn't even keep her legs together properly so that everything's on show And there she's well just always wet She's leaking like that all the time If you tell her she should go and wash herself she will say you shouldn't wash there too often and she'll take a handkerchief and just wipe herself And you're lucky if it's a handkerchief because just with her hand she smears it all over the place I never give her my hand as there's perpetually an indecent smell from her hands And her breasts are indecent It's true they are very fine and bouncy but they are so big that in my opinion they're simply indecent That's the wife that Foma found for himself How she ever got round him is beyond me | F |
Daniil Ivanovich Kharms
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