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Ten mile in twenty minutes 'E done it sir That's true	A
The big bay 'orse in the further stall the one wot's next to you	A
I've seen some better 'orses I've seldom seen a wuss	B
But 'e 'olds the bloomin' record an' that's good enough for us	B
	-
We knew as it wa's in 'im 'E's thoroughbred three part	C
We bought 'im for to race 'im but we found 'e 'ad no 'eart	C
For 'e was sad and thoughtful and amazin' dignified	C
It seemed a kind o' liberty to drive 'im or to ride	C
	-
For 'e never seemed a thinkin' of what 'e 'ad to do	C
But 'is thoughts was set on 'igher things admirin' of the view	C
'E looked a puffeck pictur and a pictur 'e would stay	C
'E wouldn't even switch 'is tail to drive the flies away	C
	-
And yet we knew 'twas in 'im we knew as 'e could fly	D
But what we couldn't git at was 'ow to make 'im try	D
We'd almost turned the job up until at last one day	C
We got the last yard out of 'im in a most amazin' way	C
	-
It was all along o' master which master 'as the name	E
Of a reg'lar true blue sportman an' always acts the same	E
But we all 'as weaker moments which master 'e 'ad one	F
An' 'e went and bought a motor car when motor cars begun	F
	-
I seed it in the stable yard it fairly turned me sick	G
A greasy wheezy engine as can neither buck nor kick	G
You've a screw to drive it forrard and a screw to make it stop	H
For it was foaled in a smithy stove an' bred in a blacksmith shop	H
	-
It didn't want no stable it didn't ask no groom	I
It didn't need no nothin' but a bit o' standin' room	I
Just fill it up with paraffin an' it would go all day	C
Which the same should be agin the law if I could 'ave my way	C
	-
Well master took 'is motor car an' moted 'ere an' there	J
A frightenin' the 'orses an' a poisonin' the air	J
'E wore a bloomin' yachtin' cap but Lor' wot DID 'e know	K
Excep' that if you turn a screw the thing would stop or go	K
	-
An' then one day it wouldn't go 'E screwed and screwed again	L
But somethin' jammed an' there 'e stuck in the mud of a country lane	M
It 'urt 'is pride most cruel but what was 'e to do	C
So at last 'e bade me fetch a 'orse to pull the motor through	C
	-
This was the 'orse we fetched 'im an' when we reached the car	N
We braced 'im tight and proper to the middle of the bar	N
And buckled up 'is traces and lashed them to each side	C
While 'e 'eld 'is 'ead so 'aughtily an' looked most dignified	C
	-
Not bad tempered mind you but kind of pained and vexed	C
And 'e seemed to say 'Well bli' me wot WILL they ask me next	C
I've put up with some liberties but this caps all by far	N
To be assistant engine to a crocky motor car '	-
	-
Well master 'e was in the car a fiddlin' with the gear	O
And the 'orse was meditatin' an' I was standin' near	O
When master 'e touched somethin' what it was we'll never know	K
But it sort o' spurred the boiler up and made the engine go	K
	-
''Old 'ard old gal ' says master and 'Gently then ' says I	D
But an engine won't 'eed coaxin' an' it ain't no use to try	D
So first 'e pulled a lever an' then 'e turned a screw	C
But the thing kept crawlin' forrard spite of all that 'e could do	C
	-
And first it went quite slowly and the 'orse went also slow	K
But 'e 'ad to buck up faster when the wheels began to go	K
For the car kept crowdin' on 'im and buttin' 'im along	P
And in less than 'alf a minute sir that 'orse was goin' strong	P
	-
At first 'e walked quite dignified an' then 'e 'ad to trot	C
And then 'e tried a canter when the pace became too 'ot	C
'E looked 'is very 'aughtiest as if 'e didn't 'e mind	C
And all the time the motor car was pushin' 'im be'ind	C
	-
Now master lost 'is 'ead when 'e found 'e couldn't stop	H
And 'e pulled a valve or somethin' an' somethin' else went pop	H
An' somethin' else went fizzywiz and in a flash or less	Q
That blessed car was goin' like a limited express	Q
	-
Master 'eld the steerin' gear an' kept the road all right	C
And away they whizzed and clattered my aunt it was a sight	C
'E seemed the finest draught 'orse as ever lived by far	N
For all the country Juggins thought 'twas 'im wot pulled the car	N
	-
'E was stretchin' like a grey'ound 'e was goin' all 'e knew	C
But it bumped an' shoved be'ind 'im for all that 'e could do	C
It butted 'im an' boosted 'im an' spanked 'im on a'ead	C
Till 'e broke the ten mile record same as I already said	C
	-
Ten mile in twenty minutes 'E done it sir That's true	C
The only time we ever found what that 'ere 'orse could do	C
Some say it wasn't 'ardly fair and the papers made a fuss	B
But 'e broke the ten mile record and that's good enough for us	B
	-
You see that 'orse's tail sir You don't No more do we	R
Which really ain't surprisin' for 'e 'as no tail to see	R
That engine wore it off 'im before master made it stop	H
And all the road was littered like a bloomin' barber's shop	H
	-
And master Well it cured 'im 'E altered from that day	C
And come back to 'is 'orses in the good old fashioned way	C
And if you wants to git the sack the quickest way by far	N
Is to 'int as 'ow you think 'e ought to keep a motor car	N

Arthur Conan Doyle

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