The Man Who Discovered The Use Of A Chair Poem Rhyme Scheme and Analysis
Rhyme Scheme: ABCACDEFDF GHIGI JBKJK BLABL BMNBN ABOAO BBCBC P QBRQR SPASA| The man who discovered the use of a chair | A |
| Odds bobs | B |
| What a wonderful man | C |
| He used to sit down on it tearing his hair | A |
| Till he thought of a highly original plan | C |
| For years he had sat on his chair like you | D |
| Quite still | E |
| But his looks were grim | F |
| For he wished to be famous as great men do | D |
| And nobody ever would listen to him | F |
| - | |
| Now he went one night to a dinner of state | G |
| Hear hear | H |
| In the proud Guildhall | I |
| And he sat on his chair and he ate from a plate | G |
| But nobody heard his opinions at all | I |
| - | |
| There were ten fat aldermen down for a speech | J |
| Grouse Grouse | B |
| What a dreary bird | K |
| With five fair minutes allotted to each | J |
| But never a moment for him to be heard | K |
| - | |
| But each being ready to talk I suppose | B |
| Order Order | L |
| They cried for the Chair | A |
| And much to their wonder our friend arose | B |
| And fastened his eye on the eye of the Mayor | L |
| - | |
| 'We have come ' he said 'to the fourteenth course | B |
| ' High time | M |
| for the Chair ' he said | N |
| Then with both of his hands and with all of his force | B |
| He hurled his chair at the Lord Mayor's head | N |
| - | |
| It missed that head by the width of a hair | A |
| Gee whizz | B |
| What a horrible squeak | O |
| But it crashed through the big bay window there | A |
| And smashed a bus into Wednesday week | O |
| - | |
| And the very next day in the decorous Times | B |
| Great Guns | B |
| How the headlines ran | C |
| In spite of the kings and the wars and the crimes | B |
| There were five full columns about that man | C |
| - | |
| - | |
| ENVOI | P |
| - | |
| Oh if you get dizzy when authors write | Q |
| My stars | B |
| And you very well may | R |
| That white is black and that black is white | Q |
| You should sit quite still in your chair and say | R |
| - | |
| It is easy enough to be famous now | S |
| Puff Puff | P |
| How the trumpets blare | A |
| Provided of course that you don't care how | S |
| Like the man who discovered the use of a chair | A |
Alfred Noyes
(1)
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