What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.
Quote by Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield Quotes
When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.
I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.
With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.
My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.
Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask. Each time an actor acts he does not hide he exposes himself.
I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.
My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.
I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.
I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
Have you ever thought that war is a madhouse and that everyone in the war is a patient?
To secure peace is to prepare for war.
Rather be dead than cool.
Some people swear by writing courses, but whether it really helps American poetry, I have doubts.
The fact is that I find more most men are more open, more generous, and much more stimulating than the majority of females I know.
Achievement is not always success, while reputed failure often is. It is honest endeavor, persistent effort to do the best possible under any and all circumstances.
Nothing that you do will ever feel good if you let people convince you that you have no choice.
Faith is spiritualized imagination.
For the longest time, you just sound like a broken record, but you have to be consistent when teaching kids.
I have nothing but sympathy for the people who are forced to work with me. I'm better now at picking out those that want to play that game with me, and those that don't.