I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
Quote by Joan Rivers
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Joan Rivers quote
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Joan Rivers Quotes
People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.
I think I'm in a business where you have to look good, and it's totally youth-oriented.
Comediennes are the lucky ones, because if you're funny, you can be 125 years old and they will still accept you.
I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath.' For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds.
The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.
Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise.
Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it the present.
She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven.
The ideal beauty is a fugitive which is never found.
The doorstep to the temple of wisdom is a knowledge of our own ignorance.
My movies are unadorned, they're not particularly fancy, I think they're kind of workmanlike in some ways, focusing on the writing and the acting.
The display of grief makes more demands than grief itself. How few men are sad in their own company.
I do not deny that I planned sabotage. I did not plan it in a spirit of recklessness nor because I have any love of violence. I planned it as a result of a calm and sober assessment of the political situation that had arisen after many years of tyranny, exploitation and oppression of my people by the whites.
I've been screaming at the top of my lungs at my family, 'Work out! Work out! Old age is coming!'
There is only one kind of freedom and that's individual liberty. Our lives come from our creator and our liberty comes from our creator. It has nothing to do with government granting it.
The only part of the conduct of any one, for which he is amenable to society, is that which concerns others. In the part which merely concerns himself, his independence is, of right, absolute. Over himself, over his own body and mind, the individual is sovereign.
It took a lot of blood, sweat and tears to get to where we are today, but we have just begun. Today we begin in earnest the work of making sure that the world we leave our children is just a little bit better than the one we inhabit today.
I have a small house so I borrow everything except art, that's what I love.
You can't just ask customers what they want and then try to give that to them. By the time you get it built, they'll want something new.