Joan Rivers
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She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven.
Quote by Joan Rivers
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Joan Rivers Quotes
She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven.
People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.
I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.
People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.
My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.
Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.
Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, 'Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep.'.
The ideal beauty is a fugitive which is never found.
Best Quotes
I decided I ought to pick a project that would not be controversial, that would not really cost the government a lot of money.
Rather like Batman, I embody the themes of the movie which are the values of family, courage and compassion and a sense of right and wrong, good and bad and justice.
Some of the most famous books are the least worth reading. Their fame was due to their having done something that needed to be doing in their day. The work is done and the virtue of the book has expired.
EXPECTATION weakens us in the love and service we provide.
To walk through the ruined cities of Germany is to feel an actual doubt about the continuity of civilization.
The wisdom of age: don't stop walking.
Tomorrow, do thy worst, for I have lived today.
It seems to me that the natural world is the greatest source of excitement the greatest source of visual beauty the greatest source of intellectual interest. It is the greatest source of so much in life that makes life worth living.
I think God's justice is making wrongs right.
Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.
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