Garrison Keillor

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God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.
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Garrison Keillor Quotes

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.
Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.
Thank you, dear God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough. Thank you for the rain. And for the chance to wake up in three hours and go fishing: I thank you for that now, because I won't feel so thankful then.
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function.
Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. They seem not to notice us, hovering, averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks, but what we do for them is never wasted.
Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function.
Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.
Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.
Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.
A minister has to be able to read a clock. At noon, it's time to go home and turn up the pot roast and get the peas out of the freezer.

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