My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.
Quote by Steven Wright
Click on the picture of Steven Wright quote you want to see a larger version.
My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.
Click on the picture of Steven Wright quote you want to see a larger version.
Steven Wright Quotes
- I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
- I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'
- When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction.
- If God dropped acid, would he see people?
- I have an answering machine in my car. It says, I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out.
- How young can you die of old age?
- I saw a bank that said '24 Hour Banking,' but I don't have that much time.
- I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window.
- I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.
- I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.
Best Quotes
- In South Africa, we could not have achieved our freedom and just peace without the help of people around the world, who through the use of non-violent means, such as boycotts and divestment, encouraged their governments and other corporate actors to reverse decades-long support for the Apartheid regime.
- The history of men's opposition to women's emancipation is more interesting perhaps than the story of that emancipation itself.
- I could always sing, from a really young age, but my voice was really weird. I used to make my mum turn up the radio every day in our house. She was well into music so I got that from her.
- Since my teen years I was interested in martial arts.
- Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
- This is our commitment to users and the people who use our service, is that Facebook's a free service. It's free now. It will always be free. We make money through having advertisements and things like that.
- There is none made so great, but he may both need the help and service, and stand in fear of the power and unkindness, even of the meanest of mortals.
- Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep.
- As we advance in life it becomes more and more difficult, but in fighting the difficulties the inmost strength of the heart is developed.
- You have to be there not for the fame and glory and recognition and being a page in a history book, but you have to be there because you believe your talent and ability can be applied effectively to operation of the spacecraft.