FUNNY QUOTES

• Life is funny sometimes, an when you look closely to see tomorrow is dip, no body knows the definition of tomorrow.
  ~ James Ogbaji ~
• It is not funny that anything else should fall down only that a man should fall down. Why do we laugh Because it is a gravely religious matter it is the Fall of Man. Only man can be absurd for only man can be dignified.
  ~ Gilbert Keith Chesterton ~
• Funny how the new things are the old things.
  ~ Rudyard Kipling ~
• Before, I guess, mum and dad were everything, but now, in my case, I had two new girls and all of a sudden they're completely dependent on you and there's a third generation. It's a funny shift all of a sudden. You have the babies, you have yourself and then you have your parents.
  ~ Roger Federer ~
• It's so funny looking back, but my so-called overnight success actually took 15 years. I remember when I didn't have any money, and my only car was mom's Hyundai.
  ~ Criss Angel ~
• It's so funny looking back, but my so-called overnight success actually took 15 years. I remember when I didn't have any money, and my only car was mom's Hyundai.
  ~ Criss Angel ~
• It's so funny looking back, but my so-called overnight success actually took 15 years. I remember when I didn't have any money, and my only car was mom's Hyundai.
  ~ Criss Angel ~
• We've seen some insane signs: 'Is that a loaf of bread in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?' Funny stuff along those lines. Very original. One just said, 'I will do unspeakable things.' I thought that was very interesting - and mildly terrifying!
  ~ Josh Hutcherson ~
• That's why I like to get out there, and get people to see the other side of Mitt, and know us in a different reflection when you see the family and how funny he is with the boys and with the grandkids. And you know, just what a super guy he is. That's part of what I am doing, is letting people see the other side of Mitt.
  ~ Ann Romney ~
• This may sound funny, but as much as the 'Today' show matured me, it also was something of a cocoon. I'd been happy there. I never went into the boss's office and pounded my fist on the desk, saying, 'Give me more money! Give me a prime-time show!'
  ~ Jane Pauley ~
• If you work at comedy too laboriously, you can kill what's funny in the joke.
  ~ Richard Russo ~
• People often ask me how I make things funny. I don't make things funny.
  ~ Richard Russo ~
• One time I went into a restroom and a girl followed me in. I signed an autograph for her in the sink. It was pretty funny because she was in a guy's restroom and she wasn't embarrassed at all.
  ~ Zac Efron ~
• They say Yogi Berra is funny. Well, he has a lovely wife and family, a beautiful home, money in the bank, and he plays golf with millionaires. What's funny about that?
  ~ Casey Stengel ~
• They say Yogi Berra is funny. Well, he has a lovely wife and family, a beautiful home, money in the bank, and he plays golf with millionaires. What's funny about that?
  ~ Casey Stengel ~
• They say Yogi Berra is funny. Well, he has a lovely wife and family, a beautiful home, money in the bank, and he plays golf with millionaires. What's funny about that?
  ~ Casey Stengel ~
• They say Yogi Berra is funny. Well, he has a lovely wife and family, a beautiful home, money in the bank, and he plays golf with millionaires. What's funny about that?
  ~ Casey Stengel ~
• So what I do now is to pre-empt that by making the up into a virtue, and telling funny stories about how crap I am before people have a chance to notice it for themselves and think maybe I haven't realised.
  ~ Emily Mortimer ~
• No, writing musicals is the hardest thing in the world. And it was really funny, because I remember when the South Park movie came out, there were some critics that said, 'Well it's obvious that in order to get it to be 90 minutes they filled some time with music.'
  ~ Trey Parker ~
• It's funny because I think a lot of it is simply... We've never considered ourselves satirists, but because we're on Comedy Central and because we're South Park on Comedy Central, we can do any topic we want.
  ~ Trey Parker ~
• In terms of the creative side of it, it's really been a thing where you come up with the funny stuff is usually at a bar or out talking to people or whatever.
  ~ Trey Parker ~
• It's funny how many people will come to Vegas to see your show where they might not come out to see you unless you come to their hometown.
  ~ Reba Mcentire ~
• To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.
  ~ Reba Mcentire ~
• I don't care what the haters and naysayers say. If they make jokes about me, I'll laugh because they'll probably be funny.
  ~ Paula Deen ~
• Comedy's so subjective, and if someone comes to watch, doesn't get it, doesn't find it funny, then fine.
  ~ Johnny Vegas ~
• It's not common for a woman on television, especially if she's the mom of the family, to be funny. She's usually a straight man or foil.
  ~ Martha Plimpton ~
• I watch things that are fun, or funny, or interesting.
  ~ Martha Plimpton ~
• It's not common for a woman on television, especially if she's the mom of the family, to be funny. She's usually a straight man or foil.
  ~ Martha Plimpton ~
• It's not common for a woman on television, especially if she's the mom of the family, to be funny. She's usually a straight man or foil.
  ~ Martha Plimpton ~
• People used to be funny about approaching me, but now they seem to think I'm as sane as anyone who's done what I've done in movies can be.
  ~ Philip Seymour Hoffman ~
• People used to be funny about approaching me, but now they seem to think I'm as sane as anyone who's done what I've done in movies can be.
  ~ Philip Seymour Hoffman ~
• Life's pretty funny when you're objectively on the outside looking at it.
  ~ Philip Seymour Hoffman ~
• I really wanted to just be a musician. I didn't want to be anything else, but I was funny and all that.
  ~ Jamie Foxx ~
• You know what? I never really factor Hollywood into anything. I'm a black actor, so I can't really control what Hollywood thinks. I gotta go do my thing, and my jokes have got to be funny. Whatever I do has got to be great.
  ~ Jamie Foxx ~
• As a writer, or as a filmmaker, you have to present yourself, and part of what yourself is is what you're interested in, or what you think is funny, or what you think is sad, or what you think is horrible.
  ~ Charlie Kaufman ~
• As a writer, or as a filmmaker, you have to present yourself, and part of what yourself is is what you're interested in, or what you think is funny, or what you think is sad, or what you think is horrible.
  ~ Charlie Kaufman ~
• God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.
  ~ Garrison Keillor ~
• God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.
  ~ Garrison Keillor ~
• I don't think, 'Gee, I'd like to dress this person.' There was a picture in Us magazine. It was a jersey dress, and Courtney Love was wearing it. I have this thing about Courtney Love, this funny worship.
  ~ Marc Jacobs ~
• I always find it kind of embarrassing, kind of funny, and kind of exciting. In New York I'm recognized a lot, although nobody says anything. You know, they stare at you just a second too long. But in Paris it's not as commonplace to be recognized.
  ~ Marc Jacobs ~
• Justin Timberlake is everything, and what more could you want in a person? He's funny. He's cute. He's great. He just understands. I get him and he gets me, and that's cool.
  ~ Britney Spears ~
• I find it so funny that people find me so interesting.
  ~ Britney Spears ~
• Justin Timberlake is everything, and what more could you want in a person? He's funny. He's cute. He's great. He just understands. I get him and he gets me, and that's cool.
  ~ Britney Spears ~
• Strange questions are the more interesting ones. Children by and large don't try to trip you up... they want to find out how you do this funny thing that you do... if they've loved a story they love to know how it started.
  ~ Michael Morpurgo ~
• Animals are sentient, intelligent, perceptive, funny and entertaining. We owe them a duty of care as we do to children.
  ~ Michael Morpurgo ~
• If it's inappropriate to write about, if there's nothing funny about it, then it's not funny.
  ~ Calvin Trillin ~
• We all know funny people who can't get it down on the page - even funny writers who can't get it down on the page.
  ~ Calvin Trillin ~
• I actually think of being funny as an odd turn of mind, like a mild disability, some weird way of looking at the world that you can't get rid of.
  ~ Calvin Trillin ~
• Music is more difficult - try naming a political band. The Dead Kennedys. The Dead Kennedys are political, but they are more funny than they are political.
  ~ Thom Yorke ~
• Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
  ~ Peter Ustinov ~
• Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
  ~ Peter Ustinov ~
• Forgiveness is a funny thing. It warms the heart and cools the sting.
  ~ William Arthur Ward ~
• Forgiveness is a funny thing. It warms the heart and cools the sting.
  ~ William Arthur Ward ~
• 'Funny People' is my favorite performance of myself to date. Even though it's a comedy and there are serious moments, I really felt like Leo felt like a real person. It didn't feel like I was playing myself. Whether it's a comedy or drama, I just try to make it as realistic as possible.
  ~ Jonah Hill ~
• The fact that the Kardashians could be more popular than a show like 'Mad Men' is disgusting. It's a super disgusting part of our culture, but I still find it funny to make a joke about it.
  ~ Jonah Hill ~
• It's harder to be funny if you're handsome than if you're very normal-looking. It's just more relatable. You're the underdog. I mean it's funny to see people struggle, and you don't buy that Brad Pitt is struggling, you know that guy could be the most skill-less guy in the world, but if you look like that you will be fine for the rest of your life.
  ~ Jonah Hill ~
• I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive.
  ~ Jerry Seinfeld ~
• Queer Eye for the Straight Guy is a form of service journalism. To be successful, I think it has to be a combination of a good story, it has to be funny, and it also needs to be packed with useful information.
  ~ Ted Allen ~
• We live in a funny time. If you don't go corporate, you can't compete. You're relegated as irrelevant. People used to admire that.
  ~ Ethan Hawke ~
• Funny things happen to you in movies for silly reasons.
  ~ Michael Caine ~
• Funny things happen to you in movies for silly reasons.
  ~ Michael Caine ~
• The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible.
  ~ David Ogilvy ~
• The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible.
  ~ David Ogilvy ~
• You know, I've always thought that it would be really funny if somebody made a romantic comedy where absolutely everything went well from beginning to end.
  ~ Fiona Apple ~
• You know, I've always thought that it would be really funny if somebody made a romantic comedy where absolutely everything went well from beginning to end.
  ~ Fiona Apple ~
• On the stage you're there, it's live. There's a beginning, a middle, an end. When something is funny you hear it right away.
  ~ Theodore Bikel ~
• There are so many funny women in the world, and there has been for so many years, so I'll be happy when people can just move on from that, and things can just be 'comedies' and not 'female' or 'male,' and everyone gets an equal opportunity.
  ~ Kristen Wiig ~
• With improv, it's a combination of listening and not trying to be funny.
  ~ Kristen Wiig ~
• I've thought for the last decade or so, the only actual place raw truth was seeping through in newspapers was on the Comics Pages. They were able to pull off intelligent social comment, pure truths not found elsewhere in the news pages, and had the ability to make it all funny, entertaining, and pertinent.
  ~ Elayne Boosler ~
• I've thought for the last decade or so, the only actual place raw truth was seeping through in newspapers was on the Comics Pages. They were able to pull off intelligent social comment, pure truths not found elsewhere in the news pages, and had the ability to make it all funny, entertaining, and pertinent.
  ~ Elayne Boosler ~
• The nightmare is you spend the rest of your life being funny at parties and then people say, 'Why didn't you do that when you were on television?'
  ~ Conan O'brien ~
• I'm blonde and tanned and normal-sized! I'm sweet, shy, funny, have a big heart and I'm nice - and I like to eat.
  ~ Paris Hilton ~
• Chris Hemsworth is like Christopher Reeve in that he can do two things: he can wear a big red cape without a shred of self-consciousness. But he's also funny as hell, and he's so sweet. So with all the fish-out-of-water stuff, he's so funny. So he does almost two jobs in a way.
  ~ Tom Hiddleston ~
• If you play it straight it's funny - the best comedy is always played straight down the middle. The adjustment is understanding from the screenplay that a moment is hilarious.
  ~ Tom Hiddleston ~
• If you play it straight it's funny - the best comedy is always played straight down the middle. The adjustment is understanding from the screenplay that a moment is hilarious.
  ~ Tom Hiddleston ~
• To me, what separates a funny movie from a good movie is something personal.
  ~ Seth Rogen ~
• I think when you do comedy, you play by a different set of rules. No one really wants you to be in that good shape. Being in good shape implies a level of vanity that isn't necessarily funny.
  ~ Seth Rogen ~
• As soon as I realized you could be funny as a job, that was the job I wanted.
  ~ Seth Rogen ~
• Europe is scooters. Europe is five young people on one bench sharing a chocolate bar. Their idea of entertainment and fun is so much different than ours, which is exactly why a movie about them would be funny.
  ~ Mike Myers ~
• My dad loved to laugh. He was very funny and very silly.
  ~ Mike Myers ~
• My father was always a straight-up funny guy. He was silly. He was my inspiration.
  ~ Mike Myers ~
• My dad loved to laugh. He was very funny and very silly.
  ~ Mike Myers ~
• The funny thing is that I'm the girl who no one sees at the beach. Ask anyone who's traveled with me. Normally, I'm in so many layers, I look like Lawrence of Arabia!
  ~ Vera Wang ~
• It's interesting that whenever I meet some of the other Bond girls, I always have something in common, and it is an interesting sorority. We all share about our Bonds. 'Did your Bond do that?' 'Yes mine did!' So it is quite funny conversations. We may as well be in high school.
  ~ Jane Seymour ~
• When I first envisioned 'Funny Games' in the mid-1990s, it was my intention to have an American audience watch the movie. It is a reaction to a certain American cinema, its violence, its naivety, the way American cinema toys with human beings. In many American films, violence is made consumable.
  ~ Michael Haneke ~
• 'Funny Games' was conceived as a provocation. My other films are different. If people feel my other films are, or respond to them as provocation, then that's quite different. 'Funny Games' is the only one of mine where my intention was to provoke the audience.
  ~ Michael Haneke ~
• It's unbearable when someone changes around you. Just imagine that your life partner changes, then it is difficult to cope with. Or your mother. Or your father. They were strong and now they're like a baby - it's not so funny.
  ~ Michael Haneke ~
• I'm never afraid to try something if I think it's funny. And I know I'll regret it if I don't.
  ~ Seann William Scott ~
• I don't really necessarily think I'm a funny guy, but I like the opportunity to take on something that I don't feel I'm the best at doing.
  ~ Seann William Scott ~
• The surprising thing is that I was not funny in high school. I was always jealous of the funny kids because they always got the girls. I couldn't tell a joke to save my life.
  ~ Seann William Scott ~
• I mean it's funny, playing music, how of course you want it to do well, you want them to like it, but it's not competitive like an election, it's the Olympics, it's not a Formula 1 race. The Billboard charts are just to show you what people like.
  ~ Eddie Van Halen ~
• It's funny, when bands or younger musicians ask me: 'So, what does it take to make it?' Well, first explain to me what you mean by 'making it': Do you want to be a rock star or do you want music to be your livelihood?
  ~ Eddie Van Halen ~
• It's only I have seen enough of it and the funny thing is now, I know that I'm skinny, because I know there are even smaller clothes in the store. I think I'm big, when I was big, I never thought about it.
  ~ Karl Lagerfeld ~
• I never smoked. I never drank and I never took drugs. The funny thing is, nothing is more boring, people like this. For me, it's OK. But most of my friends, at least they smoke and drink.
  ~ Karl Lagerfeld ~
• When I was a kid I didn't feel like I fit in because - this is really silly and I probably shouldn't say it, but, I didn't think anything was funny. So I used to go home and literally cry to my mom and my step-dad at the time and I didn't think anything was funny. I couldn't laugh.
  ~ Courteney Cox ~
• When I was a kid I didn't feel like I fit in because - this is really silly and I probably shouldn't say it, but, I didn't think anything was funny. So I used to go home and literally cry to my mom and my step-dad at the time and I didn't think anything was funny. I couldn't laugh.
  ~ Courteney Cox ~
• When I was a kid I didn't feel like I fit in because - this is really silly and I probably shouldn't say it, but, I didn't think anything was funny. So I used to go home and literally cry to my mom and my step-dad at the time and I didn't think anything was funny. I couldn't laugh.
  ~ Courteney Cox ~
• It's funny, because I never think of myself as Little Miss All-Together.
  ~ Courteney Cox ~
• I'm not funny. What I am is brave.
  ~ Lucille Ball ~
• It's funny that there was so much disturbance about having a Catholic in the White House with Kennedy, and when we finally get a religion in the White House that's causing a lot of conflicts, and concerns, and disturbances for a lot of people, it's in the Bush Administration.
  ~ Roger Ebert ~