Never floss with a stranger.
Quote by Joan Rivers
Click on the picture of Joan Rivers quote you want to see a larger version.
Never floss with a stranger.
Click on the picture of Joan Rivers quote you want to see a larger version.
Joan Rivers Quotes
- I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
- What are people going to do? Fire me? I've been fired before. Not book me? I've been out of work before. I don't care.
- Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise.
- She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven.
- The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.
- Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.
- Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, 'Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep.'.
- People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.
- I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath.' For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds.
- Yeah, I read history. But it doesn't make you nice. Hitler read history, too.
- Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it the present.
Best Quotes
- I always wanted to be honest with myself and to those who have had faith in me.
- The serve, I was too young and too small and... not enough powerful to have a good serve when I was young, so my forehand was always my signature shot. So I used to always run around my backhand, you know, use my forehand as much as I could, and so that's why I think it's my strength also today, you know.
- I did all the right things in so many tournaments. But like I said, sometimes in sports it just goes the other way. Maybe you've already won so much that it evens it out a bit sometimes. I don't know.
- I used to get nervous, you know if my parents would come watch. And then I would get nervous if my friends came and watched. Today it's not a problem anymore actually, because now I enjoy it. I see that they, you know, respect me immensely, and I try to put on a good show and show that I can still play very good tennis.
- When I won in 2003, never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would win Wimbledon and have my kids seeing me lift the trophy, so this is pretty surreal. And yeah, I was almost shocked in the moment that it all came together so nicely.
- Before, I guess, mum and dad were everything, but now, in my case, I had two new girls and all of a sudden they're completely dependent on you and there's a third generation. It's a funny shift all of a sudden. You have the babies, you have yourself and then you have your parents.
- My dad said if you become a tennis professional just make sure you get into the top hundred, because you have to make a little bit of money. You make a living so you can pay your coaching and, you know, your travels.
- When you do something best in life, you don't really want to give that up - and for me it's tennis.
- When there is nothing to talk about don't force yourself to say anything because it may land you in trouble.
- It’s crazy how people say, "I rely on facts," And believe thier television sets.
- Some people are drawn naturally - there are natural guitarists, and there are natural piano players, and I think guitar implies travel, a sort of footloose gypsy existence. You grab your bag and you go to the next town.