When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.
Quote by Rodney Dangerfield
Click on the picture of Rodney Dangerfield quote you want to see a larger version.
When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.
Click on the picture of Rodney Dangerfield quote you want to see a larger version.
Rodney Dangerfield Quotes
- I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
- My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
- My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.
- I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.
- I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.
- I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
- I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
- I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.
- I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
- I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.
Best Quotes
- When fish experience something that would cause other animals physical pain, they behave in ways suggestive of pain, and the change in behaviour may last several hours.
- Satisfaction consists in freedom from pain, which is the positive element of life.
- Freedom is secured every day by our men and women in uniform. We must build a future worthy of their sacrifice.
- I think every chef, not just in America, but across the world, has a double-edged sword - two jackets, one that's driven, a self-confessed perfectionist, thoroughbred, hate incompetence and switch off the stove, take off the jacket and become a family man.
- They know the importance of their mission and of America's commitment to combating and defeating terrorism abroad, and they know that they are making a real difference in bringing freedom to a part of the world that has known only tyranny.
- I think children learning to cook can be such a wonderful thing. It can help build confidence, make them feel good about themselves. It helped me build my ego and even start to get acceptance at school. I'd bring things to class that I'd cooked at home.
- You know who is against democracy in the Middle East? The husbands. They got used to their way of life. Now, the traditional way of life must change. Everybody must change. If you don't give equal rights to women, you can't progress.
- Religion is an illusion and it derives its strength from the fact that it falls in with our instinctual desires.
- Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it's quite the opposite: a woman having large breasts makes men stupid.
- Together we can and must fight for justice for our children and protect them from draconian tax cuts and budget choices that threaten their survival, education and preparation for the future. If they are not ready for tomorrow, neither is America.