Rodney Dangerfield

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I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
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Rodney Dangerfield Quotes

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.
Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask. Each time an actor acts he does not hide he exposes himself.
I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.
I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.
What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.
I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.
My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

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