There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.
Quote by Rita Rudner
Click on the picture of
Rita Rudner quote
you want to see a larger version.
Rita Rudner Quotes
I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.
We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.
I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.
Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'
My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
A man will go to war, fight and die for his country. But he won't get a bikini wax.
The gross heathenism of civilization has generally destroyed nature, and poetry, and all that is spiritual.
I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.
I wanted to be that quirky girl who writes funny songs that still have meaning.
The wealthy are always surrounded by hangers-on science and art are as well.
That business we started with 10 people has now grown into a great American success story.
God is more interested in your future and your relationships than you are.
There are a lot of things that are personally uncomfortable to show, especially me without makeup and completely bloated or crying. But I've realized that it's time for me to show my audience that you don't have to be perfect to achieve your dreams. Because nobody relates to being perfect.
They say I can open movies, and that's nice in that it puts into people's minds that women can do it. It's not just Kevin Costner, not just Arnold Schwarzenegger. Not just the guys.
I want to deal with somebody who comes from another country to the United States and has a family that comes. I don't care if it's a black family from Jamaica or a Hispanic family from Mexico. These issues need to be dealt with, but they need to be dealt with in the entertaining way.
To this day, I am the least materialistic person I know, because my father didn't raise me to just go out and buy this or that car. The only reason I wanted to make money as an actor was because I'm passionate about food!