I don't excercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.
Quote by Joan Rivers
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I don't excercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.
Click on the picture of Joan Rivers quote you want to see a larger version.
Joan Rivers Quotes
- The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.
- Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds.
- I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath.' For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds.
- Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, 'Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep.'.
- Never floss with a stranger.
- My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.
- Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise.
- She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven.
- I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
- Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise.
Best Quotes
- Experience praises the most happy the one who made the most people happy.
- Habit is a second nature which prevents us from knowing the first, of which it has neither the cruelties nor the enchantments.
- And I highly recommend for all the women in the world, even if they're 71, you can never take for granted that he loves you. It's always good to flirt with him. It's a great sport.
- We hold our heads high, despite the price we have paid, because freedom is priceless.
- I left school on my 15th birthday.
- When I am speaking about American presidents, I have to speak about my very special relations with President Clinton. He contributed more to peace than anybody else in the American sense.
- Music is about listening, the more you play, the more the magic spreads.
- I was not born to be free. I was born to adore and to obey.
- An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
- If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?