Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from children.
Quote by Phyllis Diller
Click on the picture of Phyllis Diller quote you want to see a larger version.
Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from children.
Click on the picture of Phyllis Diller quote you want to see a larger version.
Phyllis Diller Quotes
- My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.
- What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
- Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from children.
- The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.
- Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.
- Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.
- The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.
- We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
- A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
- Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.
- There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto.
Best Quotes
- I always wanted to be honest with myself and to those who have had faith in me.
- The serve, I was too young and too small and... not enough powerful to have a good serve when I was young, so my forehand was always my signature shot. So I used to always run around my backhand, you know, use my forehand as much as I could, and so that's why I think it's my strength also today, you know.
- I did all the right things in so many tournaments. But like I said, sometimes in sports it just goes the other way. Maybe you've already won so much that it evens it out a bit sometimes. I don't know.
- I used to get nervous, you know if my parents would come watch. And then I would get nervous if my friends came and watched. Today it's not a problem anymore actually, because now I enjoy it. I see that they, you know, respect me immensely, and I try to put on a good show and show that I can still play very good tennis.
- When I won in 2003, never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would win Wimbledon and have my kids seeing me lift the trophy, so this is pretty surreal. And yeah, I was almost shocked in the moment that it all came together so nicely.
- Before, I guess, mum and dad were everything, but now, in my case, I had two new girls and all of a sudden they're completely dependent on you and there's a third generation. It's a funny shift all of a sudden. You have the babies, you have yourself and then you have your parents.
- My dad said if you become a tennis professional just make sure you get into the top hundred, because you have to make a little bit of money. You make a living so you can pay your coaching and, you know, your travels.
- When you do something best in life, you don't really want to give that up - and for me it's tennis.
- When there is nothing to talk about don't force yourself to say anything because it may land you in trouble.
- It’s crazy how people say, "I rely on facts," And believe thier television sets.
- Some people are drawn naturally - there are natural guitarists, and there are natural piano players, and I think guitar implies travel, a sort of footloose gypsy existence. You grab your bag and you go to the next town.