George Burns Quotes
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You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.
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Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
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If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.
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Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
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At my age flowers scare me.
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I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
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I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
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I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
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I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere.
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I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
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I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.
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Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
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Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
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When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
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If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.
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I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.
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Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
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I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.
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Look to the future, because that is where you'll spend the rest of your life.
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Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
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Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
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Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
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I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
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Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
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I can't afford to die I'd lose too much money.
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I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
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I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.
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Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up.
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I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.