February 2019 | Leo Lastname

I want to kill myself
I just wish in this month I was someone else
Someone normal unlike me
Someone who wouldn't be a liability

Blackouts happen every other day
And no one listens to the words I say
Dizzy not only in person but in my feelings
The worst part is a gave myself a higher ceiling

People asked what was wrong with me
I would hide from it and say “I was sick” and leave
I never understood why middle school was so bad
But everyone's fighting their own demons depressed and sad

This fight dug me down a hole because I was alone
No stress relievers and reeked of cheap cologne
I was just a shadow of my former self
Fuck my fake smile I want to kill myself

Poet's note: This poem was about me when I started having seizures. I really wanted to give people an idea of different struggles that people can go through during 7th grade. I wanted to express anger and depression when your in the shoes of someone struggling with epilepsy. It means a lot because this was probably the biggest low point for me.