Comediennes are the lucky ones, because if you're funny, you can be 125 years old and they will still accept you.

• The ideal beauty is a fugitive which is never found.
• My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.
• I think I'm in a business where you have to look good, and it's totally youth-oriented.
• Diets, like clothes, should be tailored to you.
• The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.
• Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds.
• I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
• I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
• If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.
• Never floss with a stranger.