My dear wife,
I have tried to be enough
to fill the space between your sighs
with something other than failure.
But each word I spoke
fell short of the man you needed,
and your silence
became my mirror.
You stopped reaching for me
long before I let go.
I saw it in the way your eyes drifted
past my face,
through my voice,
as though searching for the man
I once pretended to be.
Forgive me for mistaking your patience
for love enduring.
Forgive me for believing
that trying was the same as being worthy.
The truth is,
you taught me what love costs
and I could not afford its weight.
The boys will grow,
and I pray they inherit your strength,
not my weakness.
Tell them I was proud once
a father, a husband,
until I became the ghost
haunting my own home.
You will go on,
and the world will not slow
for the sound of my leaving.
Do not grieve me long
just remember me
as the noise that faded
when the quiet became too much to bear.
I wish I could have been your peace.
Instead, I was your lesson
in how even love
can break a man
who wanted nothing more
than to make you smile.