We aren't cool and never will be.

• Coldplay fans are the best in the world. If you like Coldplay then you're obviously very intelligent and good looking and all-around brilliant.
• I don't actually own a car.
• Celebrity culture has gone crazy, and I think the reason is that real news is just not bearable, and it also seems impossible to change anything.
• I don't mind not being cool.
• I've never been cool and I don't really care about being cool. It's just an awful lot of time and hair gel wasted.
• We aren't cool and never will be.
• I'm just a public-schoolboy. I've got a degree. I'm from a middle-class family in Devon. I've got no story.
• Everyone asks me about being so worried or thinking about existence as if I'm the only person who can't understand why a tree grows the way it does or why a person is in power when they're not that great. These are questions everyone has.
• I think that the fact that a relationship becomes public is a bit of a bummer. Because it can distract from the real reason why you're together, which is that you just like each other.
• You know, it's possible for two humans to be in a relationship without there needing to be some public reason for that relationship.