When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes.'
Quote by Steven Wright
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When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes.'
Click on the picture of Steven Wright quote you want to see a larger version.
Steven Wright Quotes
- I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.
- When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction.
- Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
- I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.
- I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
- Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.
- Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
- My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.
- I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.
- If God dropped acid, would he see people?
Best Quotes
- In the United States there is more space where nobody is than where anybody is. This is what makes American what it is.
- It is most unwise for people in love to marry.
- I have plenty of money, unlike other Hollywood celebrities or athletes that have not invested well.
- It is an unfortunate fact that we can secure peace only by preparing for war.
- I'm less worried about accomplishment - as younger people always can't help but be - and more concerned with spending my time well, spending time with my family, and reading, learning things.
- What the New Yorker calls home would seem like a couple of closets to most Americans, yet he manages not only to live there but also to grow trees and cockroaches right on the premises.
- Nonviolence is the first article of my faith. It is also the last article of my creed.
- Old age is not a disease- it is strength and survivorship, triumph over all kinds of vicissitudes and disappointments, trials and illnesses.
- I always say the minute I stop making mistakes is the minute I stop learning and I've definitely learned a lot.
- Religion is the recognition of all our duties as divine commands.