I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.
Quote by Steven Wright
Click on the picture of Steven Wright quote you want to see a larger version.
I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.
Click on the picture of Steven Wright quote you want to see a larger version.
Steven Wright Quotes
- I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side.
- Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.
- If God dropped acid, would he see people?
- Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
- When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction.
- I think God's going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding.
- I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.
- Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
- When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes.'
- I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
Best Quotes
- The truth may be out there, but lies are inside your head.
- Hard work pays, evil doesn't.
- It has always been my belief that a man should do his best, regardless of how much he receives for his services, or the number of people he may be serving or the class of people served.
- At the New York Athletic Club they serve amazing food. People go there, get healthy, and then eat themselves to death - which is, I suppose, the right way to do it.
- Drugs are the enemies of ambition and hope - and when we fight against drugs we are fighting for the future.
- Humor has justly been regarded as the finest perfection of poetic genius.
- There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
- He that hath wife and children hath given hostages to fortune for they are impediments to great enterprises, either of virtue or mischief.
- The country already has a leader who divides us with the bitter politics of envy. We have to offer an alternative vision.
- An argument fatal to the communist theory, is suggested by the fact, that a desire for property is one of the elements of our nature.