I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.
Quote by Steven Wright
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Steven Wright Quotes
I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.
I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.
I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it.
I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
How young can you die of old age?
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
I saw a bank that said '24 Hour Banking,' but I don't have that much time.
I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window.
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.
I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.
Yeah, I mean the material, directors, the other cast, and if you think you can do something with the character then you do it and go from there. I am looking forward to doing some smaller movies.
Live truth instead of professing it.
I heard a definition once: Happiness is health and a short memory! I wish I'd invented it, because it is very true.
To attempt seeing Truth without knowing Falsehood. It is the attempt to see the Light without knowing the Darkness. It cannot be.
Salman Rushdie, indeed any writer who abuses the prophet or indeed any prophet under Islamic law, the sentence for that is actually death.
The enemy of society is middle class and the enemy of life is middle age.
Be more dedicated to making solid achievements than in running after swift but synthetic happiness.
Our age knows nothing but reaction, and leaps from one extreme to another.
They are ill discoverers that think there is no land, when they can see nothing but sea.
I lead no party I follow no leader. I have given the best part of my life to careful study of Islam, its law and polity, its culture, its history and its literature.