I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
Quote by Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield Quotes
I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.
I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.
My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.
Men who do things without being told draw the most wages.
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.
My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.
We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
Beauty of dreams is manifested by accepting growth, living day by day to see them come true is manifested by consistency and living in the light of their reality is manifested by patience.
His death was the first time that Ed Wynn ever made anyone sad.
If a man does not make new acquaintances as he advances through life, he will soon find himself alone. A man should keep his friendships in constant repair.
All good things are wild, and free.
If the freedom of speech is taken away then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter.
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves we must die to one life before we can enter another.
Ronald Reagan was a president of strength. His philosophy was a philosophy of strength - a strong military, a strong economy and strong families.
Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss life.
I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock.
Whenever somebody says they need an angle for their story I always fear that they've got an idea and they want me to fit into it or they want me to come up with an idea myself or I'm supposed to be more revealing than I've been, and to me it just sounds like something I don't want to do.