Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
Quote by Rita Rudner
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Rita Rudner Quotes
In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.
When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.
Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.
My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.
There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.
Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.
I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again.
I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
A magical of success is powered by persistence.
The best smell in the world is that man that you love.
In a controversy the instant we feel anger we have already ceased striving for the truth, and have begun striving for ourselves.
Different men seek after happiness in different ways and by different means, and so make for themselves different modes of life and forms of government.
Do not waste your time on Social Questions. What is the matter with the poor is Poverty what is the matter with the rich is Uselessness.
It's simple, if it jiggles, it's fat.
I loved hip-hop. The first stuff I heard was Public Enemy, and I couldn't believe it. It was amazing, and I've always loved hip-hop.
I believe that being successful means having a balance of success stories across the many areas of your life. You can't truly be considered successful in your business life if your home life is in shambles.
We have art in order not to die of the truth.
OK, in all seriousness, I would say I couldn't be in a relationship without equality, generosity, integrity, spirit, kindness and humor. And awesomeness.