Mitch Hedberg
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I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.
Quote by Mitch Hedberg
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Mitch Hedberg Quotes
I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.
I like refried beans. That's why I wanna try fried beans, because maybe they're just as good and we're just wasting time. You don't have to fry them again after all.
Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, 'I'm gonna go shave, too.'
Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults.
A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.
I'd like to get four people who do cart wheels very good, and make a cart.
Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head ain't funny!
This shirt is dry clean only. Which means... it's dirty.
I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.
Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?
Best Quotes
The more wit the less courage.
A Buddha is someone who finds freedom in good fortune and bad.
I think music is the most phenomenal platform for intellectual thought.
You can't but know that if you can capture the emotions of the audience as well as their minds, the play will work better, because it's a narrative art form.
Begin - to begin is half the work, let half still remain again begin this, and thou wilt have finished.
If the people raise a great howl against my barbarity and cruelty, I will answer that war is war, and not popularity seeking.
The Bee Gees, to us, was the three brothers. In Maurice's name, we would respect that and not be the Bee Gees anymore.
Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life define yourself.
One thing I hope I'll never be is drunk with my own power. And anybody who says I am will never work in this town again.
I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.
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