I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.
Quote by Mitch Hedberg
Click on the picture of Mitch Hedberg quote you want to see a larger version.
I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.
Click on the picture of Mitch Hedberg quote you want to see a larger version.
Mitch Hedberg Quotes
- I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down.
- I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.
- I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life.
- The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.
- My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
- Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?
- I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.
- I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.
- I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming.
- This shirt is dry clean only. Which means... it's dirty.
Best Quotes
- The hate of men will pass, and dictators die, and the power they took from the people will return to the people. And so long as men die, liberty will never perish.
- If you know the enemy and know yourself you need not fear the results of a hundred battles.
- There is nothing in the world so much admired as a man who knows how to bear unhappiness with courage.
- If we want to talk about freedom, we must mean freedom for others as well as ourselves, and we must mean freedom for everyone inside our frontiers as well as outside.
- It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.
- The highest activity a human being can attain is learning for understanding, because to understand is to be free.
- I do not think that marriage is one of my talents. I've been much happier unmarried than married.
- The darkness of death is like the evening twilight it makes all objects appear more lovely to the dying.
- It is easier to find men who will volunteer to die, than to find those who are willing to endure pain with patience.
- If Warren Buffett made his money from ordinary income rather than capital gains, his tax rate would be a lot higher than his secretary's. In fact a very small percentage of people in this country pay a big chunk of the taxes.