Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it the present.
Quote by Joan Rivers
Click on the picture of Joan Rivers quote you want to see a larger version.
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it the present.
Click on the picture of Joan Rivers quote you want to see a larger version.
Joan Rivers Quotes
- If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.
- Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, 'Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep.'.
- My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.
- Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise.
- I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
- Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise.
- Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds.
- Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.
- I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
- She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven.
Best Quotes
- Love is the greatest refreshment in life.
- If men would consider not so much wherein they differ, as wherein they agree, there would be far less of uncharitableness and angry feeling.
- Choosing to be positive and having a grateful attitude is going to determine how you're going to live your life.
- If I designed a computer with 200 chips, I tried to design it with 150. And then I would try to design it with 100. I just tried to find every trick I could in life to design things real tiny.
- Expect the best, plan for the worst, and prepare to be surprised.
- In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar - a practice which is still continued.
- Not much shocked me. You know, I worked in a home for Alzheimer's patients and my dad used to be really into murders and stuff, so I saw dead bodies. It desensitised me to a lot of things.
- True friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity, before it is entitled to the appellation.
- Admiration of the proletariat, like that of dams, power stations, and aeroplanes, is part of the ideology of the machine age.
- Roosevelt's declaration that Americans had 'nothing to fear but fear itself' was a glorious piece of inspirational rhetoric and just as gloriously wrong.