Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it the present.
Quote by Joan Rivers
Click on the picture of Joan Rivers quote you want to see a larger version.
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it the present.
Click on the picture of Joan Rivers quote you want to see a larger version.
Joan Rivers Quotes
- The ideal beauty is a fugitive which is never found.
- Comediennes are the lucky ones, because if you're funny, you can be 125 years old and they will still accept you.
- I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
- Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds.
- I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
- Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, 'Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep.'.
- People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.
- I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
- The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.
- I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath.' For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds.
Best Quotes
- Mother's love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved.
- I don't have no fear of death. My only fear is coming back reincarnated.
- By the time Obama came into office, Washington had already agreed over a period of a few weeks to a $700 billion government infusion into the world banking system. Nothing of the sort had ever been done before, and it was done spit spot with very little national debate.
- You get the health benefits of coffee up through about the first twenty-four ounces. It's the biggest source of antioxidants for Americans, and we think it helps prevent Alzheimer's and Parkinson's as well.
- My view is pensioners don't have the one option that people of working age have. They can't really increase their income, because they are no longer able to work.
- War is cruelty. There is no use trying to reform it. The crueler it is, the sooner it will be over.
- The thing that lies at the foundation of positive change, the way I see it, is service to a fellow human being.
- My mom has made it possible for me to be who I am. Our family is everything. Her greatest skill was encouraging me to find my own person and own independence.
- In science the important thing is to modify and change one's ideas as science advances.
- I sought my father in the world of the black musician, because it contained wisdom, experience, sadness and loneliness. I was not ever interested in the music of boys. From my youngest years, I was interested in the music of men.