Joan Rivers
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If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.
Quote by Joan Rivers
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Joan Rivers Quotes
Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.
Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise.
My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.
I think I'm in a business where you have to look good, and it's totally youth-oriented.
I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
Diets, like clothes, should be tailored to you.
Yeah, I read history. But it doesn't make you nice. Hitler read history, too.
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it the present.
She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven.
Never floss with a stranger.
Best Quotes
In this business it takes time to be really good - and by that time, you're obsolete.
The experience of God, or in any case the possibility of experiencing God, is innate.
I was raised in an atmosphere of 'everything's fine.' But as I got older, I was like, 'Well no, everything's not fine. There is stuff that's sad.' I am a really sensitive person. I think I am too sensitive sometimes.
Madonna remains the most visible performer on the planet, as well as one of the wealthiest, but would anyone seriously say that artistic self-development is her primary motivating principle? She is too busy with Kabbalah, fashion merchandising, adoption melodramas, the gym, and ill-starred horseback riding to study art.
I had used eclectic therapy and behavior therapy on myself at the age of 19 to get over my fear of public speaking and of approaching young women in public.
A great mind becomes a great fortune.
Air travel is the safest form of travel aside from walking even then, the chances of being hit by a public bus at 30,000 feet are remarkably slim. I also have no problem with confined spaces. Or heights. What I am afraid of is speed.
I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge. That myth is more potent than history. That dreams are more powerful than facts. That hope always triumphs over experience. That laughter is the only cure for grief. And I believe that love is stronger than death.
An idea is salvation by imagination.
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