Joan Rivers
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I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
Quote by Joan Rivers
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Joan Rivers Quotes
People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.
Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds.
Yeah, I read history. But it doesn't make you nice. Hitler read history, too.
I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise.
I enjoy life when things are happening. I don't care if it's good things or bad things. That means you're alive.
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it the present.
If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.
Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.
Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.
Best Quotes
The audiences are there as a result of my history with the band but also as a result of my being able to reach people with a tune.
Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
It's a fact that more people watch television and get their information that way than read books. I find new technology and new ways of communication very exciting and would like to do more in this field.
If women are supposed to be less rational and more emotional at the beginning of our menstrual cycle when the female hormone is at its lowest level, then why isn't it logical to say that, in those few days, women behave the most like the way men behave all month long?
I was always very interested in science, and I knew that for me, science was a better long-term career than tennis.
Another unsettling element in modern art is that common symptom of immaturity, the dread of doing what has been done before.
I've lost my faith in science.
Each day as I travel through downtown Tucson, I am amazed at how quickly the most ancient of human behaviors have changed. For as long as there have been Homo sapiens - roughly 200,000 years - people have filled their lives principally with two activities: talking directly with other people, and doing physical things.
Say there's a white kid who lives in a nice home, goes to an all-white school, and is pretty much having everything handed to him on a platter - for him to pick up a rap tape is incredible to me, because what that's saying is that he's living a fantasy life of rebellion.
If a man cannot do brain work without stimulants of any kind, he had better turn to hand work it is an indication on Nature's part that she did not mean him to be a head worker.
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