Joan Rivers
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I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
Quote by Joan Rivers
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Joan Rivers Quotes
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it the present.
I enjoy life when things are happening. I don't care if it's good things or bad things. That means you're alive.
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it the present.
I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise.
Comediennes are the lucky ones, because if you're funny, you can be 125 years old and they will still accept you.
Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.
I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath.' For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds.
If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.
Best Quotes
To give thanks in solitude is enough. Thanksgiving has wings and goes where it must go. Your prayer knows much more about it than you do.
My country is the world, and my religion is to do good.
The first holy truth in God 101 is that men and women of true faith have always had to accept the mystery of God's identity and love and ways. I hate that, but it's the truth.
What is especially important is addressing the question of how religion can be enforced through political means and what can be done to create a political environment that, on the one hand, acknowledges the role of religion in society, while on the other hand does not impose one religion on the populace at the expense of all others.
Liberal Democrats are inexorably opposed to tax cuts, because tax cuts give people more power, and take away from the role of government.
To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead.
The public is not to see where power lies, how it shapes policy, and for what ends. Rather, people are to hate and fear one another.
To sin by silence when they should protest makes cowards of men.
Unhappy, let alone angry, religious people provide more persuasive arguments for atheism and secularism than do all the arguments of atheists.
The universe we observe has precisely the properties we should expect if there is, at bottom, no design, no purpose, no evil, no good, nothing but blind, pitiless indifference.
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