Comediennes are the lucky ones, because if you're funny, you can be 125 years old and they will still accept you.
Quote by Joan Rivers
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Joan Rivers quote
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Joan Rivers Quotes
Never floss with a stranger.
Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise.
She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven.
I think I'm in a business where you have to look good, and it's totally youth-oriented.
Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.
I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.
I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it the present.
I enjoy life when things are happening. I don't care if it's good things or bad things. That means you're alive.
A chain is no stronger than its weakest link, and life is after all a chain.
In politics stupidity is not a handicap.
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
There is adantage in the wisdom won from pain
The problem for those who assert biblical authority in support of traditional definitions of marriage is that one could, with equal validity, assert that the lending of money or certain kinds of haircuts are forbidden by God, or that slavery and the subjugation of women are authorized by the Lord.
Today's consumers are eager to become loyal fans of companies that respect purposeful capitalism. They are not opposed to companies making a profit indeed, they may even be investors in these companies - but at the core, they want more empathic, enlightened corporations that seek a balance between profit and purpose.
What material success does is provide you with the ability to concentrate on other things that really matter. And that is being able to make a difference, not only in your own life, but in other people's lives.
Give what you have. To someone, it may be better than you dare to think.
Our observation of nature must be diligent, our reflection profound, and our experiments exact. We rarely see these three means combined and for this reason, creative geniuses are not common.
The clearest explanation for the failure of any marriage is that the two people are incompatible that is, that one is male and the other female.