George Carlin
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When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands.
Quote by George Carlin
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George Carlin Quotes
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.
If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.
Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.
Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.
Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established.
The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.
Best Quotes
I am so fidgety - I swear I have ADD - and I always need to be doing something or being outside, just playing sports.
Refuse to accept the belief that your professional relevance, career success or financial security turns on the next update on the latest technology. Sometimes it's good to put the paddle down and just let the canoe glide.
There are very few human beings who receive the truth, complete and staggering, by instant illumination. Most of them acquire it fragment by fragment, on a small scale, by successive developments, cellularly, like a laborious mosaic.
Politics is like football if you see daylight, go through the hole.
The strength and power and goodness of America has always been based on the strength and power and goodness of our communities, our families, our faiths. That is the bedrock of what makes America, America. In our best days, we can feel the vibrancy of America's communities, large and small.
Working with my dad was such a gas. We approached the work in a similar way. We only made two films together when I was an adult, Tucker, and Blown Away, but it was so much fun to play with your parent like that.
In wartime, truth is so precious that she should always be attended by a bodyguard of lies.
I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
I feel so lucky to have both a son and a daughter, because there's a different relationship with each of them.
I turned 54 this year and I find myself feeling like I'm in a bit of a race to get down on paper the way I really feel about life - or the way it has presented to me. And because it has presented to me very beautifully, this is hard. It is technically very hard to show positive manifestations.
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