Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
Quote by George Carlin
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George Carlin quote
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George Carlin Quotes
In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.
I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this time it'll work.
Electricity is really just organized lightning.
What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.
If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.
I'm a summer baby, so I usually have my birthday as a good summer memory.
The greatest education in the world is watching the masters at work.
Religion is not going to come up with any new arguments.
Politics is not about winning for the sake of winning.
I woke up full of hate and fear the day before the most recent peace march in San Francisco. This was disappointing: I'd hoped to wake up feeling somewhere between Virginia Woolf and Wavy Gravy.
Take a course in good water and air and in the eternal youth of Nature you may renew your own. Go quietly, alone no harm will befall you.
Bulls don't read. Bears read financial history. As markets fall to bits, the bears dust off the Dutch tulip mania of 1637, the Banque Royale of 1719-20, the railway speculation of the 1840s, the great crash of 1929.
Learning is its own exceeding great reward.
Go for it now. The future is promised to no one.
I had a really good childhood up until I was nine, then a classic case of divorce really affected me.