George Carlin

Quotes Books Biography Comments Images

If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
Quote by George Carlin

Click on the picture of George Carlin quote you want to see a larger version.

George Carlin Quotes

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. I'm sure it made the work seem that much more urgent.
I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this time it'll work.
Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?
Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.
I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this time it'll work.
The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.
Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.

Best Quotes