Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.
Quote by Demetri Martin
Click on the picture of Demetri Martin quote you want to see a larger version.
Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.
Click on the picture of Demetri Martin quote you want to see a larger version.
Demetri Martin Quotes
- I like to use 'I Can't Believe it's Not Butter' on my toast in the morning, because sometimes when I eat breakfast, I like to be incredulous. How was breakfast? Unbelievable.
- I think that when you get dressed in the morning, sometimes you're really making a decision about your behavior for the day. Like if you put on flipflops, you're saying: 'Hope I don't get chased today.' 'Be nice to people in sneakers.'
- I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that's 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says 'go outside.'
- My favorite fruit is grapes. Because with grapes, you always get another chance. 'Cause, you know, if you have a crappy apple or a peach, you're stuck with that crappy piece of fruit. But if you have a crappy grape, no problem - just move on to the next. 'Grapes: The Fruit of Hope.'
- People and squirrels are very different. Most people will not argue that. But I find that there is one situation in which they're very similar. And that is: when I am driving towards them in my car. Then they're kind of hard to tell apart - especially if the human is kind of hairy.
- And of course I didn't make any money from stand up for years, so I had temp jobs. That was the way I made money.
- I like video games, but they are very violent. I want to create a video game in which you have to help all the characters who have died in the other games. 'Hey, man, what are you playing?' 'Super Busy Hospital. Could you leave me alone? I'm performing surgery! This guy got shot in the head, like, 27 times!'
- I like to use 'I Can't Believe it's Not Butter' on my toast in the morning, because sometimes when I eat breakfast, I like to be incredulous. How was breakfast? Unbelievable.
- I think it's interesting that 'cologne' rhymes with 'alone.'
- And my only rule being if when I wake in the morning I'm looking forward to the things that I have to do that day, then I'm on the right track.
Best Quotes
- The art world is molting - some would say melting. Galleries are closing museums are scaling back.
- My dad takes care of me as a manager and as a dad. That's his job, you know, to take care of me. He has my best interests at heart.
- We just put General Motors in the hands of people who can't even run our own government.
- I was thinking that when I have children, that I should always dress as a character for them, so they think their mom is Alice in Wonderland or Cinderella.
- Pick the day. Enjoy it - to the hilt. The day as it comes. People as they come... The past, I think, has helped me appreciate the present - and I don't want to spoil any of it by fretting about the future.
- Religiosity turns out to be the best indicator of civic involvement: it's more accurate than education, age, income, gender or race.
- And fifth, we will champion small businesses, America's engine of job growth. That means reducing taxes on business, not raising them. It means simplifying and modernizing the regulations that hurt small business the most. And it means that we must rein in the skyrocketing cost of healthcare by repealing and replacing Obamacare.
- Our pets rely on us entirely for their nutrition. So if you're making your own judgments, that could lead to a mistake. At the same time, we have more control over our pet's diet than we do with our children or with ourselves, so your vet can tell you what is appropriate for your dog and you can assign them that.
- Wisdom, compassion, and courage are the three universally recognized moral qualities of men.
- Lawyers, I suppose, were children once.